Tick-tock, the clock is turning red
The room won't stop spinning and thoughts in your head
And it's too late
You feel like you're making a big mistake
You should've waited
maybe you know i'm addressing this to you. maybe not. but doesn't really matter i guess. its september 2008. its been quite awhile. i dont think we'll ever go back to the way things once were? maybe it was my wishful thinking that it would. but i guess not. maybe one day it'd come close? maybe maybe. i guess for that to happen, we'd have to start trusting one another first huh? but i dont ever see you trusting me, for your "reasons" and blah blah blah. oh well. whatever tickles your fancy. whatever floats your boat right? maybe one day we'd start trusting each other again? maybe one day we'd come close to going back to the way things once were. maybe though, just maybe. i guess theres too many maybes, not enough definatelys.
I won't try to philosophize
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes
This is how I feel
And it's so surreal
I got a closet filled up to the brim
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons
And I don't know why
You'd even try
But I won't lie
i guess the thing about trust is that once we lose it, it's so damn hard to gain it back.
about a year ago. i wrote this on my blog, "
sometimes in life we're too afraid of change. we're scared of whats out there and what might happen when change arrives. thats why we hang on to whats always there, we hang on to whats safe even if change promises to be so much better". its scary huh, how we just want things to forever be the same. like we just want time to stand still as we try our best to hold on to what we have and never have to let go. we want to keep what we have now and never accept the loss and the change that the future is sure to bring. its scary how so many things can change in such a short period of time. its scarier how we never have enough time with the things and people we love. how we dont have the time to properly treasure them before they're gone.
i think its been almost a year since the chiangmai trip.. and a year on, i think i kinda miss it. the adventure we had. the drama. the excitement. the fun and the bonding with people we wouldnt really have spoken too.i miss the digging and the sleeping like sardines. the psp breaks we forever took. even the baths out in the open and the really crap food that we had to eat. joking around with mr chia and trkking up a few kilometres up the mountain so early in the morning. taking a dump in the wilderness with joshua looking out for me. or peeing into the trees and realising that the rain actually washed our pee downslope to where we all were. the friendly villagers that never seemed to stop smiling. it makes you wonder how they could always smile no matter what. and we who are 10 times more privelaged than them aways seem to have something to complaing about. i do miss our chiangmai trip. i do miss the fun we definately had. secret 8 remember?
sweta said, "when you have friends like these, what more do u need? :)" how true is that huh. i guess sometimes no mater how bad life looks and no matter how crap things seem to be, we can always count on our true friends who are always gonna be there for us no matter what. i love my friends. and i would never want to trade them for anyone in the world. i could sit here and type out who their names and what they mean to me or all the things that they've done for me. but i think that'd be a bit too corny! haha! but you guys know who you are! and i love you all! (: FRIENDS LIKE ELLEN CHANG HUI BING!
through it all, i'd be waiting for that answer
