Monday, March 26, 2007 @ 9:13 PM

as life goes on, you realise that the things that were once there arent there anymore. you realise that the comfort zones you used to have are gone. you realise that things and people that meant so much to you are no longer by your side. you realise that life is just a long winding road with death as the destination. you realise that the hapiness you always use to have is less frequent. sadness engulfs you. life aint fair. life aint right. nothing is going right anymore

you know they say "people always leave". i guess its true. people always leave. and you cant do anything about it huh. but why is it that like these things happen when you least expect it or when you dont want them to? you never expect these things to happen.. you least expect it, thats the worst.thigns are all fine and dandy and suddenly wham bam thank you maam, people leave. when mean like it happens all the time so you should think you're well equipped to handle it but every single time, it's so saddening and painful. i mean if you think about it, people leave, and some dont ever come back. you say goodbye and maybe thats the last sentence you would ever say to that person. it hurts so much to say goodbye to someone whos really close or someone who means a lot to you and is in some way important. i guess goodbyes suck.. people leaving, that sucks even more.

you know i'll miss you guys damn much.. i felt so fucking sad today. seriously, i really felt like crying. you guys mean a lot to me and you guys really made an impact on my life. seriously. but yeah. bleahh. i really dont know what to say and all. except thanks i guess. thanks for everything. thanks for the memories. thanks for the fun and the laughter. thanks for the advice, the talks, to sillines, the retardedness, all the good times. basically thanks for everything. i'll miss you guys so damn much.

so today was ermmm, basically, crap. fucked up.. shit. the dumps. pick you poison. i guess nothing seemed to be going right and then like boom! like someone just drops a bombshell that just explodes and shit. bleah.. sighhh. i feel sooo sad and depressed now it aint even funny.. but i have hockey later but since the day's been so effed up and my recent shitty slump, i guess we;re gonna lose.. oh happy joy.. can the day get any worse?

you know whats the worse part.. last year was damn good.. 7. and now, 3 months into 2007, i'm down to 2.. i honestly lost 5 just like that. without any warning. thats the worst part

Sunday, March 25, 2007 @ 11:26 PM

i'm ready to let it all go. i'm ready to just leave it all behind. i'm ready to fly away and just go someplace else. i'm ready to just go.

what's life but a few wrong choices and many bad decisions? everywhere in the world, bad choices just happen. whereever you may be, every bad decision just haunts you. people always remember you for all the wrong reasons. if you think about it, life is full of bad things that always seem to outweigh the bad. you know they say "nice guys finish last". yeah. its damn true. the bastards and the bitches get everything.. they always win. the nice ones are just left behind, most of the time they actually help those bastards and those bitches get there. its sad. life's sad. life's a big gigantic sad mess. but hey, what can you do right. its life. it sucks. it deals you an unfair hand. how is a pair 2 gonna beat a royal flush? you never get what you want. something always seem to stand in the way. even though you deserve it, cause you work your ass off, you do your utmost best, you dont get it. those others who dont do anything, dont need to do anything cause they;re handed a royal flush every single time. how do you compete with that? how do you fight such an uphill battle?

theres a song "the take over, the break's over" by fall out boy. theres a line in that song "baby seasons change but people dont." thats a lie.. thats utter bullshit. cause people change all the time. and im not just talking abt physical changes like growing taller, fatter or whatever. people's personality change. and not all the time for the better. heck, people become worse more often than not. they become worse. they change so much sometimes you wonder who the hell they;ve become. why do they change? i guess theres tons of reasons. but it still sucks. its like you barely recognize them anymore. you wonder what the hell is wrong with them. and you sometimes wonnder how you're friends with them. and then you realise that maybe you guys arent friends anymore..

so councilor elections are over,, results out monday. so i guess nth much has been happening.. went to nydc to eat lunch with priss kristi kathi and ellen.. cause i owed ellen lunch. haha.. it was funny.. they were having their girly talk so i was just sitting there quietly eating my lasagna.. and im currently on like a 4 game losing streak with no goals at all. so its kinda depressing. urghh. ohhhh! i have a picture of my breast/boob/titFLIEND!! hahaha.

aint my bestfriend the hottest ever! haha

if you want me to wait, i will wait for you
if you tell me to stay, i will stay right through
if you dont want to say anything at all, i'm happy wondering

patience i guess.. please let the wait be worth it

i dont even know you anymore.. changed a lot. why? i dont get you.. dont feel comfortable sometimes. dont feel like telling you shit.. and i dont like what you;re doing now.. and i really dont know whats gonna happen and shit. cause ive done you what i can.. and i donno if you notice whats happening.. we're pretending nths wrong.. we're acting all normal.. but do you know sth aint right?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 @ 9:15 PM

omggggg.. so like i had to go on stage to make my running for council speech. and i was not prepared AT ALL! so like i was bloody nervous when i went in front of the whole school and had to do a really impromptu speech! i was like muttering and was like about to pee my pants. but yeah.. it went ok i guess. haha. now im gonna make posters.. who knew right, that i could ever run for council.. like today when amrit announced my name and i got on stage, there were a few laughs. HAHAHA! oh well. what can i do right

so anyways.. I SWALLED A DAMN FISH BONE JUST NOW!! OMG!! WTFF!!! and it was stuck in my throat and all for like a few hours.. and like i tried swallowing bread and shit but it didnt work.. and there was NO RICE!! hdrhgjkgdskl urghhh.. then my mom started saying how it was damn dangerous and i should get an xray since it was stuck.. so like i started panicking and like started coughing and coughing trying to get it out.. and like i stuck fingers down my throat so that i could gag it out.. and it finally came out! THANK GOD!!! urghhh..
OHH!! THANKS STEPH!! steph was damn concerned and giving me all kinds of advice on how to get the stupid bone out.. and she was like looking on the internet for tips and all. aww. thanks steph!! (: and she;s helping me out with my campaign and poster thingy.. and she kinda helped with my impromptu speech and all. and she said she was proud of me! HAHAHA!! today was like "steph help eng" day.. HAHA. THANKS STEPH!!! (: oh oh oh! VOTE FOR STEPH!!!!! (:

Monday, March 19, 2007 @ 1:51 AM

Its 2am in the morning and im this bored.

Name fifteen people you can think of right now.Don't read the question(s)until you've named the 15 people
#1:Char-maine
#2:Andrew
#3:Stephen
#4:Jonho
#5:Priss
#6:Nat
#7:Kristi
#8:Ellen
#9:Kathi
#10:Shumei
#11: nic
#12: leroi
#13: seth
#14: lian
#15: russell

How did you meet #13?
primary school. gosh seth. its been like 7 years now. wow

What would you do if you didn't meet #1?
i think life would be damn sad and boring. and i'd be a damn bad person. BREASTFLIEND!! (:

What if #9 and #10 dated?
LESBIANS!! HAHA

Would #2 and #7 date?
YES! THEY'RE GONNA GET TOGETHER ONE OF THESE DAYS! IT'LL BE THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER

Describe#10
PSYCHO! MAD LAUGHTER! . owes me dinner. and would do anything for $5! haha

is #8 attractive?
haha. ermm. yeah la yeah la. boost her ego a bit even though its already damn HUGE!! (:

Describe #7
ipod charger pal!!! (: really retarded sometimes. but thats why she's my pal!! really really nice!

#12 family members?
lol.. no. but it would be cool though

#14 confesses to you that he likes you
LIAN!! haha. I KNEW IT!

What language does #15 speak
ermm. wth. english

Who is #9 going out with?
haha. NO ONE!! in her words, SO LOSER! jkjk BB!

how old is #6?
15

When is the last time you spoke to #13?
shit.. like a month ago. SETH! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU

Who is #2's favourite band/singer?
FALL OUT BOY

Would you ever date #4?
haha. not gay

Would you ever date #1?
hmm. i dont think so? she's my BFFL!! BREAST FLIENDS FOR LIFE!! haha (:

Is #10 single?
yeah

What's #11's last name?
PUA

Would you ever be in a relationship with #14?
LOL!LIAN! SORRY LIAN BUT NO! but i did tongue him! HAHA

School of #3?
ACS international

Where does #6 live?
EAST!! peaksville! simpang bedok!

What's your fave thing about #5
haha. she's an eng. and she's my cousin. need i go on. haha. but she listens and understands me! (:

Sunday, March 18, 2007 @ 1:09 AM

urghh. still having feelings of frustrations.. but here like the last few days in a nutshell. went to kallang to watch charmaine's brother's squash match. went to meridien to meet priss and watch jonho iekka nic play pool.. CHEESY BREADSTICKS!! PIZZA!! haha. i swear, priss and i do the most retarded things. like eat A LOT 2 hours before dinner! LOL! dysfunctional we engs are! dinner at vilage. shumei joined us. RETARDED cause she ate a slice of pizza ladened with all kinds of nonsense all for only $5. crazy. and she owes me dinner. hung around doing absolutely nothing. thats when the frustration and a little anger started to kick in. urghh. picked up new car today. watched stomp the yard with jonho kristi kathi ellen. ok movie but like damn cliched.. i honestly think "you got served" is a better movie.. yeah

cheer up pal!!! dont be so pissed! (:

oi! dont be so depressed can? CAN YOU PLEASE CHEER THE FUCK UP? GIVE A GOD DAMN SMILE! GOSH! haha. and dont ____ k. i really worry for you.

time to change huh. new start and all..

you know, maybe you were right about yourself. but hey, you know what, if you do ____. then like its your choice and all, but i dont give a fuck abt what happens. whatever you want. but think for once. use your brain. not your heart.

smile! cheer up k! slowly but surely! you can do it! think of other things! SSSSS!! (:

BREASTFLIEND! (:

you;re starting to get on my last nerve man. seriously. i mean. 3 times now.. wtf. seriously. wtf.

i guess i can finally see your true colours huh. i mean like, i finally know the real you, i guess i was half right from the start. you're nt who everyone think you are. whatever. you're messed up. and you dont care who you hurt as long as it aint you. seriously, wtf. you;re a bitch.

we've talked bout it, acknowledged it, but have we really solved it? i dont think so. sighhh ):

Saturday, March 17, 2007 @ 1:15 AM

today was ok but somewhat damn frustrating.. ok.. i need to rant. so here goes.

first of all. the EAST COAST is part of singapore.. and like the rest of the island, there are houses and restaurants and malls and pubs and all. heck, the east coast has things that the rest of singapore doesnt. major parks, East coast park and pasir ris park. an airport.. so lets get one thing straight, the east coast is not some god forsaken part of singapore where the sun dont shine. its not some comdemned area with no electricity and nothing to do. its not some wulu wulu ghost town that has nothing but houses. like wtf k. seriously..

ok. more rants later. phone

Thursday, March 15, 2007 @ 12:15 AM

so i woke up at 7 today cause of school. yes i know its the holidays but my econs sucks so yeah. so i met ellen at coffeebean at like 8:30 and she still claims not to have received my message. YOUR PHONE SUCKS!! haha.. so we had breakfast. but we ordered from the lunch menu cause the breakfast menu theere sucks.. and the woman who works the counter there knows my name!! how cool is that. haha. so i had pasta. and ellen had pasta but KIDS SIZED! i didnt knwo they had such thing la. kids sized. haha. wth. so we sat there and ate and ranted till like 9:50. thanks for accompanying me for breakfast!!! (: CRY ME A RIVER/FISHTANK

so walked back to school for econs. and in class i started like feeling really really crappy.. so left halfway with char-maine. went to holland. could barely walk properly. i felt soo shitty. and BREASTFLIEND was so concerned and nice. HAHA. MIRACLE. so dranks soup at delifrance while she ate. then went to plaza sing with stephen andrew nic bingxi daphne and jeanette.. they were being idiots cause i felt so sick and they kept moving from place to place deciding what o eat. omg. finally sat at swensens. and i ate SALAD! i know i know. miracle. HAHA. and i took panadol. and nic's tylenol. i felt better. bingxi said i could die from overdose cause i took 4 pills within half an hour. well 2 pointer, im still alive and kicking. and i was trying to prove that andrews clumsiness was due to his lack of calcium.. haha/ damn funny and retarded. then daphne went off and the rest of us were trying to decide whether to go arcade or watch a movie.. bingxi was being an idiot and trying to get us to watch happy paws and some gay movie.. i wanted to watch hanibal rising!! OMG! but no one wanted to. so we ended up at tcc eating and playing cards. retarded i know. lol.. charmiane came and we walked her to centrepoint. bus 14 back to cold storage. and yeah. that was my day. sorry to bore you guys but im dman bored with nth to do.

and TSK TSK.. who the hell are you? crazy. sorry i offend you. cry me a damn river. -_-

this is what the girls got me for my birthday. its like this huge sophia bush poster! OMG!! ITS DMAN FRIKKKING NICE!! THANKS SO MUCH!! I LOVE IT!! now i just have to find a plce to put it. haha

ohhh.. and i miss my ipod charger pal!!! haha. even though we dont really share ipod charger anymore. haha. but ill bring it next term. best pal!!! i miss you!! see you soon k! dont miss me too much!!! (:

my birthday coasters!! haha.from my favourite set of twins and my retarded cousin. haha. priss' coaster is damn retarded. in case you cant see, it says "happy birthday mar (: you still suck. Hello Hello Hello. ok. goodbye for now" HAHA. WTH right

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 @ 6:52 PM

cry me a river

march seems to be a damn depressing month with everyone having their own sets of problems.. urghh.

cheer up man. i mean, move on alright. she aint worth it. seriously, she's a controlfreak bitch slut whore who has issues. time to just move on. i mean its quite obvious that she was at fault. i mean you tried your best and shit and if that wasnt enough than fuck her.. move on amigo.

cheer up priss!! dont worry alright. it'll work out k.. just dont let it get worse. later end up like mine.. haha. so yeah. dont stress about it. and im always here for you k. (: dont think abt it too much,. think about ______________ HAHAHAHA (:

march hols. urghh. woke up early in the morning to go to the gym, then met andrew and stephen for brunch and to just hang out and shit. the 3 amigos reunited. haha. then went to town with esteban to meet BREASTFLIEND!! hahha. went SHOPPING!! ok.. more like char-maine going shopping while i stand aside and make stupid critical comments! lets go again k!! haha. damn fun! im her new shopping buddy!! (:

Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town.

When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forgetthat you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you.

You need him.
I could be him...
I could be an accident but I'm still trying.
That's more than I can say for him.

i just told priss this. "justin timberlake is a fag. his songs suck.. his songs are damn gay. everytime i listen to sexyback i wanna run into a damn wall." cause my new phrase is "cry me a river" and supposedly its from some justin timberlake song.. wtf. haha. yuck. im on the phone with priss piss now. its been like an hour.. she;'s retarded i swear.. haha. its ok cousin. i still love you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! IM BORED!!!

Sunday, March 11, 2007 @ 10:02 PM

crazy jam packed last few days..

thursday
cant really remember what happened exactly.. but hung out at starbucks after school with woon breastfliend and andrew.. it was fun.. cause char-maine made me accompany her till 6:30 while she waited for her mom. yeah. then shared cab back with andrew daphne and jeanette.. the cab ride was damn funny.

friday
interhouse games.. TKK for the win!!! we won like almost everything.. basketball! i scored the winning basket with like 2 secs left in the final. it was good. but we all got damn sunburnt.. the rest of the day was spent like sitting around doing nothing, putting twigs into peoples hair. oh. councilor interview. oh dear lord. that didnt go too well. haha. went to holland for dinner at night with priss kristi kathi shumei jonho ellen nic and mich. went to the playground for drinks after. urghh. it was a fuckking horible night.

saturday
my birthday!!! (:
so woke up at 8 and met kristi kathi and then priss for brunch at holland. we spent like 2 hours at coffee club. and got my first cake when the twins bought me a slice of strawberry shortcake. haha. then we started planing for the night. initial plan was to go to dan ryan's but that was scratched cause its too expensive.. so we all planned to go to my place. so yeah. "party" at my place. party meaning gambling and gambling and drinking and eating pizza and jsut hanging out. thanks charmaine andrew stephen woon kristi kathi shumei lian sweta mich steph georg jonho tim rusell kim nic for coming and making it such a good night. i think thats all. im really sorry if i miss anyone out. but yeah. it was a fun night. pizza hut texas hold em blackjack baileys barcardi martel makes any night a damn fun night.. haha. it was really great. thanks guys!! (: its like your closest friends coming together to hang out and all. its great.. haha. kristi got kidna drunk! stephen too! priss got high! andrew got damn tipsy and couldnt walk straight. haha. but i really had a very fun night and fun birthday. and i LOVE the sophia bush poster thingy! nad the tshirts! and the cake! haha. ohh! and thanks to kathi and kristi who organised the whole thing like last minute. thanks! i wouldnt have done it without you guys!

so its like gonna be the end of what has been a really crazy week. and like. i think for the most part, it really was kinda fucked up. yeah. its been a horrible week for a lot of peopel. but hey, maybe things will turn around. its the holidays. we should have a happy holidays. so cheer up guys. smile. and GENUINELY. not fake smiles. (:

you're at it again.. omg.. wtf. and why is it that every single time ______ .. shit la. cb. fuck you know

you really make me smile (:

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 @ 8:50 PM

so the last 3 days of school have been pretty fucked up.. i mean like... a lot of fucked up shit has happened.. dont really want to talk about it.. bleah. so yeah. hopefully, greener pastures are about to come.. bleah.
so its like 3 days till my birthday.. saturday. hah. i dont know why, but i dont really feel excited abt it this year.. oh wells.. just another birthday i guess.. wait till next year when i turn 18. then that'd be sth to celebrate.

s0 school today was kinda retarded. like i didnt go for any lessons AT ALL!! omg.. what a waste of time.. cause like..stupid helen melon didnt wanna go for chinese so we didnt go.. and then i hate tok so me and shumei decided not to go and instead play texas hold em! HAHA! then math. well. me kristi kathi ellen decided not to go.. and then kathi ellen yiming and i went to essential brew during english. lol, so yeah. school was ermmm. waste of time. then went to queensway with andrew stephen kristi kathi ellen vic and hannah.. hannah got a tattoo. i was damn close to getting one too. but BREASTFLIEND!! im listening to you!!! hhahaha..

so yeah.. its been pretty fucked up these days.. it seems like everyones having problems. and it doesnt seem to be getting solved. bleah. where are the brighter days? are greener pastures coming?

3 amigos.. well. i hope we're slowly getting to the way we were before.. today was a start. cold storage.. and ill lead the way, but im not dragging both your asses along the way.. and the thing is dude, if you fall, he falls too.. so you better not fall.. we''ll slowly get there.

Monday, March 05, 2007 @ 11:44 PM

today was a really really fucked up day.. urghh. so many many bad and shitty things happened today.. omg.. its so frustrating. like rusell said, monday blues.. sighhh. there was so much hostility in the air.. tempers were blown, things were thrown.. problems were trying to be solved but dont know if they were.. so much shit happened today its not even funny.. i flunked my physics test.. and i took a history test and i think im gonna flunk that too... i took a puck to the leg and it fucking hurts! urghh. and to cap my fucked up day, I LOST MY IPOD! WTF!! OMFG!! cause kathi had it. then she said she passed it back to me but i dont remember her passing it back! OMFG!! SHIT!! OMGGGGGG!! HOWW!!! WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!?!? URGHH! this is so depressing.. if anyone finds it, PLEASE give it back to me.. ipod shuffle which has my name on it.. sighh ):

different colours for different people

its all on you now. actions speak louder than words. prove it
i thought i knew you. but i guess i dont. people arent who they seem to be. ironic huh
i dont know you know. is it getting better? will it be good again?
bleah. i dont know what to do anymore. i really dont. its so hard to talk to you now. what you say, is it true? or do you have something else in mind?
stop doing it k. dont ruin your life. whatever the reason, its not worth it
dude. take a look on the brightside for once
thanks. for everything
you're the best!! (:
it'll all work out k! prove to me that _____
you know., you werent who i thought you were. i was wrong.and sometimes. i donno, you just do certain things that rub me the wrong way
you're real nice and real funny. haha

Sunday, March 04, 2007 @ 7:43 PM

so fall out boy has come and gone... so like.. mixed reaction i guess.. i mean.. its worth the $75 but not worth the skipping my hockey final to line up for god knows how long to be in front.. cause in the end we just gave up and moved to the back. i mean, me and andrew were there at 12.. georghina and steph were there at 9.. so yeah.. kidna pissed.. but haha.. it was kinda fun in a way.. playing truth or dare taidi. or shoot shag or marry taidi.. if you were gay, who would you fuck? HAHAHA!! damn funny.. kathi and kristi came at 2.. but yeah. all kinda wasted. it was kinda frustrating cause like everyone was pushing and shoving and it was damn damn annoying. BLEAH. yeah. kinda pissed me off. but when they finally played, it was FUCKING AWESOME!! i love fall out boy!!! prata after that at simpang bedok. yup.. i really am damn lazy to type anythign else.