Right....so welcome to my *ahem* life.

Anyway, straight to the point.

Hi.I'm Marcus. I'm mean. I'm a BUTT HEAD! I absolutely loooooovveeee Mingy and Charmaine! Like duh....who does'nt right?
Yep. This is my post.

Lots of love ppl.

*muacks*

By: Marcus

i got this feeling.. u know the feeling.. like when u do something.. like at the time when u do it, it seems like the smart thing to do and like all your instincts tell you to do it and theres really nothing holding you back. And then after you do it, it seemed so really retarded cause nothing good came out of it.. Then after awhile, when it seems that the decision to go through with it doesnt really seem to matter anymore, it then comes to bite you in the ass.,. yeah well.. i got that feeling.. oh dear lord i made a huge mistake.. oh my god im such an idiot.. im sorry.. i really am.. if i knew it'd turn out the way it did, i wouldnt have done it.. im so sorry!! sigghhh.. i really didnt mean to be such an asshole.. didnt mean to hurt u.. urgh.. sorry? if i could rewind the clock i would, and change everything i could.

was talking to stephen just now.. was telling how i wanted to do sth to get back at someone and he was like "dont.. cause if u do, you're just as bad as they are. if u cant join em, beat em." HAHA!! wth la.. suddenly he has a concsience.. and andrew;s the one helping me plot revenge!! HAHA!!

love aint beautiful, it's painful

"Stepping up. It's a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself; to do a little more, to show you something special. Something like this. Life's funny sometimes; it can push pretty hard like when you fall in love with someone but they forget to love you back, like when your best friend someone you care about leave you alone, like when you pull the trigger or light the flame and you can't take it back. Like I said, in sports they call this 'stepping up'. In life, I call it 'pushing back.

Every once in a while, people step up and they rise above themselves, sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back"

ahh first day of school today.. well, it wasnt technically the first day cause we had school last week but whatever.. yeah.. boring.. so whats new eh.. long long assembly.. YAWN!! physics was boring too.. then addmath was ermm.. i donno.. our addmath teacher got so pissed he walked out on us cause we kept talking about the world cup.. haha.. oh well.. then free period then TRIPLE PE!! omg.. 2 hours of soccer..haha.. nonstop.. tiring as hell.. yeah.. now im back home and im bored.. 3 and a half hours till Italy vs Australia!! yup.. im bored again.. urghh

hmm.. it was funny today.. kinda weird if u ask me.. but hey, why should i care right. haha.. stephen said it always looks like im preoccupied thinking abt something,. like my mind is always on something and im thinking nonstop.. hmm.. i actually think he's right.. haha.. for once..

Love is an ugly twin headed dragon waiting for the next innocent victim to hurt

so the party's over.. yeah.. kinda boring.. the food wasnt all that great.. so one more day till school.. to be honest.. im looking forward to it.. haha.. and u know wad.. i dont all that sad anymore..haha.. i mean.. for the whole hols ive been down and shit but no more.. i feel liberated.. free.. haha. cause rite.. nvm.. lol. oh yeah.. i was chatting with my ipod charger pal!! kristi!! :) ..haha.. but she's kinda sad.. ): . cheer up pal!! ill see u soon..haha..


kristi. says:
SIGH. marcus eng..!! i feel so sad now!
kristi. says:
and i dont know why.
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
haha.. aiyoo
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
cheer up k
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
life's too short to be sad and down
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
so rite.. u gotta smile.. like this --> :]
kristi. says:
hahah okay . i will! :]
kristi. says:
lalala
kristi. says:
im listening to breathing from lifehouse.
kristi. says:
have you heard it before?
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
haha.
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
nope.. izit nice
kristi. says:
hahah its sad and depressing..
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
omg kristi.. stop listening to sad and depressing songs la.. no wonder ur sad
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
haha

haha.. my pal is damn funny la.. cause i said i cant wait to make fun of her..


There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
omg.. i really cant wait to go to sch now.. i miss making fun of u..
kristi. says:
hahah HEY!
kristi. says:
omg, why do ppl love making fun of me hur..?!
kristi. says:
hahah
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
hahaha...
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
cause rite..
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
ur reactions are damn cute..
There is only one conclusion to every story, we all fall down. says:
and u don get pissed easily wad
kristi. says:
hahah my reactions?
kristi. says:
hahah!
kristi. says:
well, no point getting pissed. hahah!

haha.. damn funny la she.. and she's lame.. and MODEST!! haha.. cant wait for monday sia.. lol

your friends.. thats the answer.. your friends.. if you're not careful that is..

i think theres something wrong with me.. i mean i had a good 8 hours of sleep last night. a first in a really really wrong time. but i was having tuition this morning and all i wanted to do was to sleep.. my eyes were like half closed.. so i took a nap after tuition then woke up for lunch.. then at abt 3, i just ell asleep again and woke up at 5.30!! omg.. wth.. and i still feel really tired.. like i can just collapse any moment. like i thought maybe aft i wake up i'll feel less tired but i just wake up feeling lethargic and really really weak.. urghh.. i think im sick..crap.. yeah.. celebrating fathers day tonight.. all my relatives are coming over which is good but all i wanna do now is just collapse on my bed, fall asleep and never wake up.. urghh.. this sucks..

i'm addicted to this song.. "Beautiful Love" by The Afters.. its damn nice.. but the thing is. from what i know.. love aint beautiful.. well.. i wouldnt know.. ive never been in love.. maybe someone can tell me

2 more days till school reopens.. boy oh boy.. so quick recap.. what have i been doing during the hols.. ermm.. for one thing.. ive been "All day staring at the ceiling,Making friends with shadows on my wall".. and then after that "All night hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep tecause tomorrow might be good for something." yeah.. fat hope.. tomorrow was forever lame and crappy.. urghh. watched scary movie 4 today with mingrong and louis.. yeah.. kinda stupid.. but funny nonetheless.. yeah..then went home staright after cause mingrong had to go home and there was no one in town and shit.. im bored.. sighhh..

why don't you just drop dead

urghh.. i really feel like just puking my guts out.. maybe its cause i played hockey and like i felt like shit then too.. or maybe its other things that just make me wanna hurl.. bleah

today was really really weird.. i did tons of thinking today.. about what has happened and what might happen. half a year is almost gone.. yeah.. you know what.. i feel free.. liberated in a way... cause for the first time in 4-5 years.... yeah.. its cool i guess.. but the many things that have happened drove me to where i am now.. liberated.. free from constraints.. free from pain and sleepless nights.. for now i guess... its kinda retarded though.. how it became like this.. i donno.. its been a weird few months.. i donno.. but the hols have been boring.. but peaceful in a way.. oh well. 3 more days and then back to the drama of school.. u know.. its funny how things can be.. i mean.. things really came to perspective today.. for some reason..

its a game isnt it.. some kind of weird twisted joke or game.. some contest.. urgh.. fuck.. well.. i guess i can only blame myself for being so stupid to fall for it and believe it.. well.. no more..

the last 2 days have been fun.. but ive only gotten 2 hours of sleep each night.. so thats 4 hours of sleep over the last 48 hours.. urgh.. so unhealthy.. hahaha. but worth it.. aft sch yesterday, uwei and debbie came over. played dota and basketball and shit..haha.. then debbie kept saying how hot this girl was in my yearbook. wth.. haha.. then marcus and nic came at 6.. played basketball.. me and uwei against 2 of em.. haha.. we owned.. then went to the hawker centre to eat dinner.. roti john!!! haha.. yeah..then uwei and debbie went off and jonho came.. had a slam dunk contest!! HAHA!! then wached germany thrash ecuador.. ordered macs. yeah.. aft the match we were just chilling. playing ps2.. psp.. watching tv and stuff..haha.. then at abt 2, we went down to make coffee. then the 4 of us BONDED!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! shit.. i was like "guys.. lets bond.. but what to we bond abt.."" marcus p. :"chicks" .. so we bonded.. abt girls!! HAHA!! yeah.. traded secrets.. made lists.. made catogeries.. funny shit la.. then watched england vs swededn.. then got 2 hours of sleep then had to go sch.. urghh. yeah.. it was damn fun la.. we should do it more often.. lol.. yup..

liberation = sheer bliss and peace

so i finally went back to sch today.. finally aft weeks of total boredom.. yup.. 2 periods off add math was so damn boring la.. us guys were just talking abt world cup the whole time..haha.. yeah. then went to NYDC for lunch.. then went back to sch for field trip to bukom.. urgh.. we had to wait frikking 45 mins for the stupid ferry la.. wah lau. .hahaha.. i love jelly ice cream.. and then on the ferry, charmaine and mingrong were like damn swcared to get seasick la... closing their eyes.. COWARDS!! haha.. yeah. then reached the oil refinery..it was kinda like a resort actually.. bowling alley. pool. badminton court... yeah/. so we had to watch this stupid movie which was sooo boring.. omg. mingrong and cherie fell asleep la!! hahaha.. wth.. then went on a bus tour which was ok i guess.. then we had snacks and drinks and just chilled.. then like madam was asking us whats the best part of the trip and mingrong was like "the food!!"./ HAHA!! wth.. yeah..then on the ferry back.. we had a heart to heart talk.. its been awhile since we;ve talked heart to heart la//haha.. it was good.. then went crystal jade for awhile before having dinner with nic and alan at subway.. then went to jonho's house before coming home.. jonho's staying over. we watched switzerland vs togo.. yup.. now he;'s sleeping. and im bored..haha..

ur damn hot la.. haha.. second hottest k.. maybe even first la.. haha.. and it was good today u know (:

had hockey last night.. played 2 games cause my brothers team didnt have enough players.. scored a hat trick and helped my bro's team win.. then played my game.. fuck.. was damn tired by then la.. like couldnt take it.. diddnt score and we tied.. fuck.. yeah.. today. rented a few movies.. watched Cry Wolf.. it was a damn good movie.. then watched scary movie 2.. damn funny la.. but it was pointless it was kinda stupid at times,.. then watched Domino.. shit.. the best movie ive watched period.. shit.. keira knightley is damn hot and damn cool la.. frikking bounty hunter.. fucking hot.. damn damn nice movie la.. she's seriously the hottest person alive.. "angel of fire" .. yup..

It's like a bad movie
She is lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably,
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.

wah fuck.. so ive been grounded the whole holiday.. but like my dad let me go out tmr.. cause my mom;s out of town too.. but shit.. nobody can go out.. either grounded, overseas or don wan to go out... omg.. wtf la.. my only chance to go out and i still cant go out.. i guess god's against me... aargh.. this is damn gay la.. urgh.. thank god theres hockey tonight.. good.. i can hit someone.. vent frustration... bleah.. guess im gonna be doing nth again tmr.. urgh.. staring at the stupid computer screen wondering wat the fuck to do and then wasting my day away like ive been doing for the last 3 weeks.. urgh.. somebody shoot me.. a life and death strugle might be not so boring

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me

I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be,

urghh.. sighh

brazil beat croatia 1-0.. only..haha.. thank god i didnt bet with marcus.. haha.. yup... hmm.. im bored.. so whats new eh.. i wanna watch the spain match later tonight.. yup.. urgh.. im just rambling on abt random stuff.. thats how bored i am.. oh!! i had a damn nice dream last night.. like one of the best dreams ever.. then my stupid alarm went off and i woke up.. SHIT!!! urgh.. maybe ill have it again tonight.. i hope so..haha..

france drew with switzerland 0-0!!! HAHAHA!! told u jonho.. fuck.. marcus p. is a lucky bastard la.. won 10 dollars already. haha.. but he doesnt wanna bet with me..haha.. oh well.. yup.. staying up to watch brazil vs croatia.. yeah,.. today was yet another boring day.. what can i say.,. when has it not been boring eh..haha.. yup.. oh.. watched the last episode of charmed.. like its the last ever episode.. no more new seasons.. its damn sad la.. omg.. seriously damn sad.. sighh.. one of my favourite shows of all time.. yup..

Larger then the moon, my love for you
World's collide, as heaven pulls us through
The secret of the world is written in the stars
I'm carrying your heart in mine

im bored bored bored bored.. theres nth to do.. and i don wanna sleep cause "sleep is boring".. HAHHAHA!! yup.. did absolutely nth today la.. fuck sia.. oh.. just watched grey's anatomy.. omg.. the episode was damn sad la.. i almost cried. damn touching and all.. yeah.. haha.. i love that show.. one of my favourites. haha.. yeah. ok.. bored.. fucckkk... nth to do nth to do.. urgh..

And tonight I walk through an empty street,
With my shadow stretching in front of me,
When my lonely thoughts meet my lonely feet,
And the cold reminds me that I've chosen this life,

what happened? why did it turn out like this? sighh

omg omg omg!!!!! 45 mins to WORLD CUP!! yeah man.. cant wait.. damn excited la.. Germany vs Costa Rica is the opening match.. haha.. shit.. why cant the clock go faster.. urgh.. chatting with jonho now.. haha.. he's damn excited too la.. lol.. oh yeah...in other sports.. edmonton vs carolina in the stanley cup finals.. the weirdest finals in awhile.. seriously.. who would;ve predicted those 2 teams in the finals.. haha.. carolina up 2-0// but edmonton at home the next 3 games.. i predict carolina to win at home in either game 6 or 7.. haha.. ok.. donno why im writing all this.. no one reading this cares la..haha.. shit la.. still 38 mins to go.. OMG!! CLOCK!! TICK FASTER!! haha.. lame.. oh.. im chatting with my ipod charger pal!! HAHA!! we haven chatted in ages la!! oh.. i sent her this song rite.. and she was like "HEY YOU!!".. "haha.. omg.. MARCUSENG!!" haha. wth la.. of course me la.. then who. HAHA!! stupid.. jkjk.. oh yeah.. kristi's being damn lame now,, she thinks she's hotter than mischa barton..

kristi. says: MARISSA!
kristi. says: hahah
kristi. says: i know.. damm stupid please.
urgh fuck... so close yet so far.. says: haha.. i know.., its damn sad la
kristi. says: hahahah she is like one of the reasons to watch the oc??!
urgh fuck... so close yet so far.. says: I KNOW!!
urgh fuck... so close yet so far.. says: she's damn hot k
kristi. says: hahah yeahh!
kristi. says: shit la.
kristi. says: marcuseng!
kristi. says: im hotter!
kristi. says: hahahah!
urgh fuck... so close yet so far.. says: HAHA!!!
urgh fuck... so close yet so far.. says: yes kristi!!

haha.. wth rite.. and she says shes going to hollywood to replace mischa barton.. WHATEVER KRISTI!! but ill support u anyways!! LOL!! remember us little ppl k.. omg.. my ipod charger pal is damn funny la.. and we have the same favourite song!!! "a little less sixteen candles a little more touch me" by fall out boy!! HAHAHA!! pals what.. lol.. and kristi.. u owe me a post la.. omg!! i cant believe u haven written me one yet!! loll... jkjk

wah fuck. so yesterday was the first game of the summer league... fuck.. we lost 5-3.. omg.. wtf la.. damn dissapointing.. sighhh.. fuck la.. im damn bored at home la.. everyday is the exact same thing.. omg.... then now also donno whether we can have M.M. sighhh... hate the hols la.. damn depressing.. omg.. aargh..

urgh fuck.. so close yet so far.. im gonna do it by the end of summer.. i hope

=) today was an ok day for once.. finally.. best day of the hols so far.. haha.. woke up at abt 10.. then met leroi and stephen at hawker centre for lunch.. then they came over. played ps2.. then dota-ed.. damn funny game la.. lol.. so yeah.. then had hockey.. some kind of practice/tryout kinda thingy.. yup.. oh.. i received the prize for top forward in the league for last season!! yay!! haha.. =) yup.. finally a good day.. maybe the week's not gonna be that bad after all..

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

watched xmen 3 yesterday.. finally.. haha.. really good movie. quite sad though.. halle berry is damn hot as storm.. and the actress who played kitty was damn hot also la..haha.. yeah.. so went plaza sing yest afternoon with cal and eileen.. went arcade and just walked around. then we went airport cause eileen had to send her teacher off.. so me and calvin had to wait for an hour for her.. cal was reading his stupid book while i just sat there and stoned.. wah lau.. frikking boring la.. then had dinner at home and then went lido to watch the 9.45 movie... after the movie.. no more mrt's so decided to take cab,.. so went to wisma.. shit.. line too long. went main road.. shit no cab.. waited for like 25 mins la.. fuck..haha.. and like even empty abs just passed us.. wtf.. i was damn pissed la.. swearing and shit.. and ready to throw my shoe at a cab..urgh.. then went to bustop to take bus.. then we say the far east taxi stand with like 6 empty cabs.. omg..haha.. came home.. rotted.. watched tv and slept at 3.. today woke up at like 10.45.. rotted like crazy...actually didnt do anything today la..tuition soon.. urgh. haha.. oh well.. tmr's the start of a new week. hope new week's better than last..haha.. hockey tmr!! (: FINALLY.. haha.. summer leauge

I think you're fine
You really blow my mind
Maybe someday, you and me can run away
I just want you to know
I wanna be your Romeo
Hey Juliet

urghh. this is so frustrating.. all of you are gonna be the death of me.. might as well just kill me now..save me all the pain suffering.. cut me some slack here.. how the fuck do you expect me to make everyone one of you happy.. give me a break.. i hate this.. fuck this shit.. im through..

fuck fuck fuck... urgh i feel sick... fuck all this shit..

This isn't me,
This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.

urgh.. i hate the holidays... frikking boring la.. and im frkking grounded.. sighh,.. took the golf pc test today.. yeah.. whole day.. from 9-4.. damn boring la.. shit..haha.. damn bored.. everyday's like the same ol thing over and over again.. wake up at 11+.. lunch.. tv.. laptop..ps2. mom's hw. study.. tuition. sleep at 3am..im like a robot la.. wah lau.. i wanna go out.. urghh..the hols have been fucked.. seriously fucked.. sighh.. 18 more days.

I want to be the one who brings you there.

what the fuck.... seriously.. what the fuck..

where were you .. guess u had more important things.. it seems things are changing.. i have no fucking clue why.. what the fuck.

what other skeletons are there in your closet..

i tell you everything.. guess it only goes one way..

this is so messed up..

omg.. im so bored.. so im gonna blog abt someone.. so theres this friend of mine. BESTFRIEND!! haha.. well.. wat can i say abt her.. oh yeah.. she's a whiner!! HAHAH!! shit/.. she whines a lot.. wait.. thats an understatement!! haha.. yes.. she loves to whine.;. always going "ehhh... marcus enggggg.. " in this really whiny whiny voice..haha.. yeah.. oh yeah.. she's kinda of a loser.. HAHA.. she cant flip a coin.. like she doesnt know how.. haha.. i feel damn loser for her... like hellooo.. who cant flip a coin.. oh yeah.. .her.. haha.. ermm.. we do have things in common.. like.. we both agreed we should get a life cause we're always bored.. and ermm.. we both love the O.C... haha.. and ermm.. oh yeah!! we both have anger management issues.. haha.. we both have bad tempers.. wait.. she has a worse temper than me.. haha.. yeah.. she likes to take pictures of herself with my phone. like the other day she thought she was damn cool with her hood on and took picture of herself and put it as my wallpaper.. well.. my phone spoilt the next day and we all know why.. HAHAH!! jkjk.. well.. OH YEAH!! the other day rite.. when i was standing next to her.. i realised that she was actually quite short..HAHA.. i always thought she was quite tall.. well..i thought wrong.. oh yea.. she has damn a lot of embarassing moments in class la... like the debate fiasco.. the tattoo.. and sometimes rite.. she can act damn bimbo la.. seriously..haha.. and get damn drunk and high at times.. siao..haha.. but yeah. she's real nice.. AT TIMES!!! and friendly... AT TIMES!! and helpful.. AT TIMES!! haha.. jkjk.. she'll listen to ur problems la.. and then laugh at u.. hahaha.. wth rite.. yup.. ermm. i donno wat else to say abt her.. love her tons!! and as u can guess it.. she asked me to do this..haha..

to you: im sorry.. i shouldnt have... its my fault.. i wasnt thinking.. cause it was wrong of me. i was insensitive. wasnt thinking straight.. should've kept my mouth shut.. cause u know.. it wasnt the right time.. im so sorry.... you know right. like.. wait..nvm... sighhh
you take away my fears,
you wipe away my tears.
You make me happy when i'm sad,
you make the world seem not so bad.
You help me think,
you make me try,
I'll never sink, i try not to cry,
One of the nicest i've ever met,
you make my life better, simple as that.

to you 2 : i have no idea wat the fuck ur doing.. seriously.. i have no idea.. ur being damn secretive and its got me suspicious.. but hey, its none of my business..but i mean.. ive helped u out tons.. i listened to ur shit.. i took ur crap. but u don appreciate it.. never even said thank you.tell u what.. im done helping you.. but here's a thought
you bastard, u've got me on all fours. u stab my back, i'll stab yours.

to you 3: if i could say one thing to you... id say sorry. you'll ask what for.. and i cant even tell u.. i cant tell you the truth cause to be honest.. im scared of u being pissed at me.. seriously.. u'll never guess it.. it felt like i was betraying you when i did it.. i think i did betray you... im so sorry.
i'd say, " sorry." you'd say"huh. to who?". im sorry i think i kinda betrayed you.

to you 4:good luck man.. and hurry up come back eh.. i need ur help

to you5 : dude, i feel ur pain.. i understand what ur going through.. but u know what. just take it all.. tahan.. don do anything stupid.. seriously..

Marcus Eng

10 March 1990
19
ACS International
Ice Hockey

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