ok.. so kristi said im overtaking her as being the most emo person on earth and that cannot happen cause she;s DAMN EMO and i cant possibly be more emo than her la.. cuase thats just sad.. hahaha.. so kristi,., this NON EMP post is for u..

so like today was a better day.. and im not EMO k!! haha. .so like yeah.. anyways.. today was okay.. ermm like nth really happened much and shit.. but it just seemed better casue i didnt get pissed off and stuff.. haha.reached home at like 8+... yeah.. so like ive been thinking.. ive gotta stop hating life.. life is unfair? well maybe.. but i mean.. life is what u make it.. and how u live it. so like if u choose to live life the way u do and it doesnt turn out the way you want it to, u cant really blame life.. u just gotta blame yourself. and like theres no point in being sad and moping about your loss and shit.., just like cheer the fuck up and pick yourself up and just like move on.. i mean.. life's too short to always be sad and down and like you've gotta live life to the fullest cause then you can enjoy life instead of hating it.. i mean.. in every single thing, theres always a positive and a negative side.. so like i guesss u've gotta look on the positive side of life.. cause thats what life is about.. being happe and satisfied in everythign u do (:

so i said i was going to be more postive in my future posts..yeah.. but FUCK being positive la... i mean.. life sucks.. lets face it.. someone prove that life doesnt suck.. yup.. cant be done.. i said yesterday that we work hard for the rewards.. yeah.. but what if that reward doesnt come.. huh? then what happens.. seems like a huge waste of time.. life.. its so frustrating sometimes.. like how you try your best to make everything seem okay and like there'll always be something that screws it up. urgh.. its like so gay la.. fuck.. i mean.. why cant we have nice peaceful days without problems.. like seriously.. why is life so shitty and messed up.. GOSH!!! AARGH!! i wanna punch something!! DAMN IT!!

so the last week has been absolutely hell.. and like.. yesterday was fine for once so like i thought things were gonna look up.. and like.. today was so fucked up.. i mean seriously.. i donno wat to do anymore.. you know for once in my life today.. i was speechless.. fuck sia.. this is utter bullshit la.. i hate my life.. nothing seems alright at the moment.

so i guess my blog's been pretty depressing lately.. well.. what can i say.. life is depressing eh.. yeah. but i guess im gonna start trying to be more positive. ok. so ive been rambling on and on abt how life is a waste of time or how its like really screwed up and unfair.. i still standby those things but like not all off its bad though.. i mean. why do we toil and trouble ourselves to do things? well. for the rewards at the end and those little pieces of good things slong the way that make it all seem so worthwhile.. i guess thats what life is about. working hard for our rewards and enjoying those rewards at the end.. rewards dont come easily and we;re made to work hard for them so that we'll learn to appreciate them..
yup.. see.. i can be positive if i want to. a brand new me..

so like today was ok actually..even though there was school in the morning for physics.. it was kind of alright.. yup.. and like after that.. went to Brecko's for lunch with mingrong and charmaine.. its been like forever since it was jusdt the 3 of us eating lunch.. haha.. it was great.. we like talked.. and played games.. and like took really retarded videos! it was great.. like it seemed it was just the 3 of us in talking and catching up.. telling each other secrets and problems.. like without a care in the world.. haha.. really really fun.. so we were in the restaurant for like an hour then off to haagen daaz for ice cream.. haha. yeah. gosh.. those times where its just the 3 of us is great!! 3 muskateers!! i love my bestfriends to bits!! ahaha.. so then went to meet my folks at paragon and then i went to collect my phone! FINALLY.. yup.. an ok day. (:

i once wrote this for my english assignment and my teacher said it was engaging..
what’s there to life besides living up to your expectations. You never get to do what you enjoy or what you want; you do what your parents want you to do. You work hard in secondary school; work even harder in Junior College in order to go to a good University. Before that though we have to work our butts off during National Service before heading off to University where we do anything possible to get a good degree. After that it’s off to find a job where we slog for minimum wage and we suck up to our bosses in order to get promoted. We fall head over heels in love and before you know it, you’re married with 2 kids and have to work even harder to provide for your family because your wife is “taking care of the kids” when in truth she is actually having an affair with your best friend. When you find out about her torrid affair, she divorces you and you’re left to raise your 2 kids alone and you don’t dare start dating again because you are afraid to have your heart broken again. You’ll retire at 60 when your kids have started working and you think you can FINALLY enjoy life when actually you can’t because you start a whole new struggle with life threatening illnesses like diabetes and cancer which come with old age. Life is a non stop struggle and it seems like we can never truly enjoy life..

well.. today was ok i guess.. but it was ermmm... eventful? drama-filled!! haha. cant think of a word to describe it cause it was like kinda crazy!! someone was like hyperventilating today!!! ;) that was a first.. haha.. cheer up dudette!!!you know im here for ya.. yup.. char-maine came late AGAIN but she got me subway!! hahaha!! Thanks char-maine! really appreciate it.. then like during english i took a video of mingrong and charmaine dancing and singing!! omg!! it was dman funny la.. lol.. if i knew how to post videos i would post it.. provided they allowed me. haha. yeah. physics again tmr!! school on a saturday. how much gayer can it get la.. sighhhh..

you know life's never perfect.. but how come life can be so far from perfect, its like the total opposite of perfect.. to be honest .. i hate life now.. like theres really nth to live for. urgh.. it seems that everything that can go wrong has go wrong.. fuck.. must be that black cat.. sighh.. and like how come you can never make everyone happy.. like for some reason no matter what you do or no matter how hard you try, someone, or some people, will always have something against you.. it just happens i guess.. sighhh.. i donno. life seemed real good 2 weeks back.. like i was boring, but peaceful but yeah.. look now.. look how things are.. catastrophic..really must be the black cat..and u know my math teacher said today, "if you die, you're lucky.. why? because when you die, you escape all the pain and suffering." and seriously.. its so true la.. death seems like such a better alternative than all the shit i go through now.. sighh.

today was up down day.. don really wanna talk abt it.. yeah.. tmr's lifeskills.. waste of time.. but hockey finals for the summer leauge tmr.. at least theres sth to look forward to i guess..

to you1: i read it. i dont know.. i think we need to talk? cause today left me confused.. yeah.. i donno.. cause after today. do you still stand by what you wrote?

to you2: i know ur pissed at me now,. and im sorry. yeah.. i guess it has been unfair huh. cause u tell me everything and i dont.. im sorry.. i really am. but you have to understand that there are certain things in life that you keep to yourself and you dont tell anyone.. i donno.. but im really sorry.. forgive me? and if ur still pissed.. i really do understand.. cause thinking back.. it has been pretty unfair to you.. and after reading this. you're still pissed and u still want to know.. then... i promise.. ill tell you about it..

u know when life treats u unfairly.. like it deals u an unfair hand.. what do you do? its like everything u do is wrong and like everything's your fault when maybe both parties were to blame.. a simple thing can blow up into something huge and like nothing you do ever seems right to some people.. i just dont get it.. i mean.. i thought life was going good for ahwile.. really nothing was wrong.. and like all of a sudden.. BOOM! life seems like a bitch.. and theres nothing to die for.. i hate it.. and by saying this, i may get struck by lightning but fuck it.. i hate life... if i die tmr, i really wouldnt care cause theres seriously nth to live for and like it'd seems a better alternative then continuing on with my life.. selfish and stupid i know but hey.. i couldnt care less.. urghh

god i feel emo today.. and yesterday.. but it just suddenly hit me in a wave/. god.. i feel sad and pissed at the same time... i just feel like fucking punching someone or something.. its like one moment i was on the bus like normal and the next moment i just felt like strangling the living daylights out of someone.. urgh.. sorry stephen for taking it out on u.. like seriously its not ur fault and theres really nth u can do.. yeah.. sorry.. but u read it. put urself in my shoes.. imagine how it;d feel like to read that... now multiply how it feels by a hundred.. thats how i feel.. fuck la.. its days like these that make me hate things so bad.. urghh.. sorry.. i dont know what else to say.. cause i guess there really is nth to say.. fuck it.. fuck life.. fuck everything... and now ive got the fucking clue.. great just great.. can my day get any better

i dont know if ur reading this.. but like.. i dont know what to do and all.. i mean.. i really want things to go back to how they were. if only u'd give me a chance.. please.. im sorry.. but like.. put urself in my shoes and imagine how i feel.. i mean.. i really wanna go back to before.. if thats possible.. i donno.. sigh.. guess its up to u.. the balls in your court. sighh

we can never be the best. no matter how hard we try, there is always someone out there who is better than us at something.. so why do we even try to be the best.. i guess we can only be the best that we wanna be? whatever the heck that means.. seriously though.. you know.. we always try to be the best in fron of other people's eyes.. especially if there's a certain someone. if u know what i mean. but like.. what happens if that person can never get past his/her impression of you.. like i mean.. that person knows you for who you are and will probably never get past that.. will never notice how you've changed and all.. sucks doesnt it.. yup.. it seems that i always get the short stick.. sighh.. what can you do right?

today was cool.. didnt really do much in school.. like didnt go for chem. and double lit double english was like free periods.. so like during english.. was sitting outside with ong, my ipod charger pal! haha.. we ere having our pal bonding time! pal connection! then it started raining and we like ran into the open, started spinning and running, spinning and running! haha.. so retarded la.. yeah.. then after school, rushed home to bathe and change. then rushed back to holland v with andrew to mee charmaine, cherie and darren... so we ate then went to battle of the bands.. it was good.. our school's band, loofa was like seriously really good la.. and they deserved at least second but got fourth.. bullshit.. its not fair cause like the results were based on like ppl voting so we had no chance la.. i mean. compare the school population la,. yeah.. school tmr.. crap..

jealousy is eating me up..

why is the world so unfair? why does life suck so bad? why do nice guys always finish last? why do bastards always get what they want? life is a journey which we undergo only to find out it is full of inequalities and unfairness.. think about it .. a straight A student.. works hard.. final exams.. studies like mad.. puts his life on hold just to study.. takes his exam... aces everything... on the way to tell his parents, he gets run over by a car? or just and ordinary teenaged boy, just finding his way in life.. then, he gets drafted into the army and sent to fight in a meaningless war.. he gets killed.. or in your everyday life, the nice guy trys ot win the heart of a girl only for her to go out with a real bastard.. tell me, wheres the justice in the world. we ask ourselves why we even try.. i mean.. we try so hard to do things and it almost never works out in the end.. the bastards get everything.. so is it worth it? to put yourself on the line? to take risks? thats the question aint it? why is life so unfair? why is there no justice in the world? those questions will never be answered.. but let me tell you.. nice guys will finish first.. PSYCHE!! only in our dreams.. the world is unfair.. we can never change that..

school was ok.. cause the history teacher wasnt here so we had like 2 free periods.. we started taking pictures of marcus and kristi!! hhaha.. dman retarded la..

marcus phooi: singapore's next top model


we now know kristi's true love!!

haha.. oh.. and kane wrote this damn nice peom abt kristi but im not allowed to blog it unless kristi says so.. she threatened me.. i fear for my life.. kristi is damn fierce la!!haha.. yeah.. i felt like a counsilor today!! hahaha.. ;) . yeah.. and i got to walk with "keira knightley" !!! haha.. i feel so honoured!!

i was watching one tree hill the other time and like in the show, chad michael murray's dad had this heart problem.. and it was genetic.. so like he had a 50/50 chance of getting that heart problem.. and if he did have it, he would have to stop doing the one thing he loves, play basketball.. he loves playing basketball.. its his life.. and he had a 50/50 chance that he would never playing again.. he'd live.. but he would never play again.. so in the show.. he doesnt take the test.. cause he's afraid to find out.. he's scared that he would never be able to play again.. it got me thinking.. if that ever happened to me, *knock on wood*, would i take the test.. well.. no.. i wouldnt.. yeah i would be scared.. yeah i'd be living damn dangerously.. but hey.. whats life without a few risks..
some people without taking risks.. they live safely.. i ask, whatever the hell for.. life's too short to take precautions.. gotta live life on the edge.. not saying u take stupid risks.. but calculated risks.. well.. the irony is.. i dont dare take the risk.. im scared.. im dead afraid.. cause i have no idea if its a stupid risk or a smart one... so guess till i do know.. i live safely.. like a pussy

HAPPY JACKASS/RETARD DAY!!!!!
well.. today was an up down day.. i totally bombed my physics test ): then i passed add math test (: and got joint highest in class for e math test (: . .haha..
but damn boring today. double physics double add math.. then free period and triple PE.. its like no one was in PE cause there was chinese listening compre.. so yeah. went off early.. went haweker centre with stephen and andrew.. lol.. caught up.. uh huh.. boring..

I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

i watched pirates of the caribbean today.. TWICE!! hahaha.. went to watch it in the afternoon with stephen leroi and jonho.. then watched it at night with my cousin and my brother.. haha.. its that good. and keira knightley is so HOT!! omg.. haha.. so yeah.. went to school for family fiesta which was sooooo boring.. yeah.. like left afterr an hour cause there was NOTHING to do.. gosh.. even celefest was better la.. wth.. so yeah// im bored// and theres nth to do.. shit..

boredom is settling in so here i am writing about my very boring life.. if ur reading this then ur probably as bored as i am so too bad motherfuckers.. im gonna bore u even more.. haha.. so school today was like any other day.. nothing special really happened.. yeah.. boring shit.. lit was ok actually..cause we practically had a free period.. so i played psp.. played CS.. accompanied char-maine all the way to math just to find out that there was a class in it. english was boring too.. really didnt do anythign at all.. yeah.. oh.. marcus phooi and kathi were like fighting and quarelling la.. then we all said they either looked like a married couple fighting.. or siblings fighting.. haha.. oh yeah.. there was like a catfight early in the morning.. so i was told. haha.. so much drama.. yup.. emath test was easy.. thank you kristi for saving me like 2 marks! HAHA.. and i saved u too k!! (: yup.. hopefully can watch pirates of the caribbean tmr... i really cant wait..i love keira knightley!! haha.. yup.. oh yeah..in tutorial rite.. we were discussing wat to do for the fashion show.. and someone suggested doing a pirates of the caribbean theme and i was like "I WANT KEIRA KNIHTLEY!!" -haha/. and then kathi was like "im keira knightley.." -_-" haha.. and like we all started cracking up and iekka was like having a heart attack.. wah lau kathi.. ur like ruining all our fantasies la.. then kathi was like.. i know im in all ur fantasies!! hahha.. whatever kathi-lynnn.. haha.. yeah.. well.. looks like theres nth else to bore ppl with so i think im going to sleep.. even though sleep is for losers.. cause sleep sucks and sleep is boring! right kim!! hahahaha.. oh and thanks for that thing u made.. its seriously damn nice! im treasuring it.. haha (:

kyrptonite brings superman to his knees.. it weakens him. it makes him breathless. it makes him cry out in pain.kryptonite makes superman feel unbearable pain. kryptonite is superman's only weakness. superman would do anything to get rid of kryptonite..

you're my kryptonite.. now how do i get rid of you?

we all have friends.. friends you barely know. friends you say hi to.. friends you talk to. friends you tell stuff too. then there are the best friends you're so close to you guys are practically siblings! :D yup.. your bestest friends who you can tell anything no matter how stupid or retarded it may be. the best friends you do stuff with.. stupid stuff and shit.. best friends who are always there for you no matter what and like just give u a shoulder to cry on without asking questions.. i once posted something about what a real friend is. and your best friends satisfy every single category without hesitation. we'd be nowhere without friends. seriously, they are the catalyst of our lives. imagine life without friends.. i couldnt.. so friends are important to our lives.. best friends are even more so.. they;re always there for you no matter what. they know whats going on and shit.. so this is to my 2 best friends.. i love you guys too bits.. :]

you guys are my 2 best friends in the whole wide world.. i dont know how i'd live without u guys la.. haha. it seems like we've known each other forever when it hasnt been that long actually.. haha.. you guys are seriously the best! sure we;ve had our ups and downs.. but which friendship doesnt.. yup.. and like everytime we patched things up after an argument, it seems like our friendship grew even stronger.. i feel like i can tell u guys absolutely anything and i do.. i really do. i turn to both of u first for advice, for friendship, for laughs, for everything.. when theres something going on in my life, i know that the 2 of u will always be there for me no matter what. and u have to know ill always be there for the 2 of u! you guys have both said something once to me that really made me smile. both different things but both really touched my heart in the same way.. you guys mean the world to me la.. you know i really would be a different person if i didnt know the both of you. so really.. thanks for everythign.. i mean it k.. love u guys!! :]

so jonho leroi uwei and debbie came over last night to watch the world cup finals.. it was fun.. we like pigged out on chips and snacks and like dota-ed like crazy and watched psycho fear factor..haha.. yeah.. and we were like drinking red bull so that i wouldnt fall asleep.. i had like 3 cans.. haha. yeah.. the match was good.. penalties.. what a way to end the world cup. so like after the match, uwei and debbie slept.. jonho did his work and me and leroi played FM// then at abt 6 we ordered macdonalds breakfast. haha. we left for school at abt 7:30. its like the first time ever not sleeping at all la.. haha.. yeah. we were late for school but for some reason weren't marked down.. yeah.. and likei felt tired but for some reason couldnt fall asleep in class.. lol. stupid red bull.. but finally in add math i fell asleep.. the table was so uncomfortable la.. so like i was sleeping on the floor.. hhaha.. yeah.. ok.. its been a weird up and down day.. for some reason, like the whole day, there have been like a million thoughts running through my mind.. thinking abt all kinds of stuff. hmmm. yeahh.. i kinda realised something.. i;m a sucker for.. yeah.. andrew and stephen were like "duh.. yeah u are.. of course ur a sucker la.." haha.. wth.

you're like killing me.. so why not do it quick.. get it over with., why stab me and twist the knife while im writhing in pain.. maybe you like to see me squirm?

today was ok i guess.. cause wednesday's are short days..haha.. yeah.. i skipped double chem to finish my physics homework cause i was threatened with detention.. yeah. physics was boring as usual.. but like after english, our whole class was like at the canteen and just talking about random crap.and like kathi was being her usual egoistic self.. haha.. so we got onto the topic on where what we were gonna do next year.. and like kathi wanted to go to acs independent cause "there are more guys there" .. then i was like "sooo.. as if the guys want you la.." .. then kathi was like "of course they do.. im kathi.. everyone wants me!" HAHAHA!! OMG!! and marcus p. was eating and he just stopped, put down his spoon and was like "eh.. wah lau.. wtf la.. i just lost my appetite" haha.. wth rite.. then english was hilarious cause we all wanted to debate kathi so we could make her cry.. you know you'd had cry kathi if we really wanted to make you cry.. haha.. then had lunch and double math.. kristi's my new math buddy.. cause nicholas is so indecisive so we just ditched him.. HAHA.. math was ok i guess.. i passed my test.. and kristi was like "marcuseng.. what happened to ur math.. it used to be good la.. " hahaha.. omg.. wah lau.. damn insulting la.. jk.. and she was using my new phone and was taking pictures of herself and she was like "wah lau.. ur camera sucks la... i can see my pimple!! OMG!!" haha.. wth. ohl.. and after school i realised that my locker is in between the twins.. so like kathi said "omg marcuseng!! when was ur locker between ours.. i know u want to be in between us la!" wth.. kathi was just having a huge ego the whole day today.. haha.. so i was like "yes yes.. my ultimate fantasy.. to be caught between 2 hot twins.. "haha.. then we took pictures and i was like "ok. fantasy fulfilled.." well.. minus the hot part!! HAHA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINGRONG!!! (:
long weekend was a total snooze fest.. really nothing to do whatsoever.. yeah. school today wasnt all that different though.. yeah.. boring right to the end.. though it was pretty much free periods throughout the day.. yup..

its over.. i know what you're doing.. but hey, its over, so quit playing games with me.. dont do this to me.. its wrong.. dont u have a frikking conscience.. one minute you're like... and then the next... sighh.. wtf.. im like twisted around your little finger..

you try to be a nice guy, people take advantage of that

so its been a long week.. yeah.,.. thursday was hilarious.. like add math was soooo damn boring so we just started taking pictures!! HAHA!! lame i know.. but hey.. bored.. haha..
uwei and daryl.. haha

kristi so dao one.. haha.

kathi was in that position for like so long not moving at all!! haha..

you dont wanna know.. HAHA

haha... we were just taking pictures until the batteries ran out. and like kristi took 10 pictures of herself.. omg.. so vain.. haha.. so like friday was kinda boring too. lit was especially boring.. but then again, when has it ever not been.. so once again. picture taking!!

alan is superman!! haha

kristi and nicholas

Gay!! haha..

Gayer!! haha.

stop sleeping in class!!

Brothers! haha.

then went to kathi and kristi's birthday party but not before making a stop at Far East to get presents.. omg. the travel to their house is a killer.. gosh. so yeah.. went home to lose $10 cause Argentina lost to Germany.. sigh.. yeah. boring weekend so far.. no school tomorrow.. shit.. oh yeah.. kathi's like obsessed with like funny-named and non sexy guys! HAHAHA!! this was our conversation..haha

im guilty for loving you. : HAHAH!
im guilty for loving you. :MARCUS ENGGG
im guilty for loving you. :YESSSSS
im guilty for loving you. : HAHAH
im guilty for loving you. : SO HOT RIGHT!
im guilty for loving you. : OMG
there are 2 sides to a story, each with its truth and lies :hahah
there are 2 sides to a story, each with its truth and lies :ermmm
there are 2 sides to a story, each with its truth and lies : not really.. lol
im guilty for loving you. : I THINK IM DYING
im guilty for loving you. : HAHAH
im guilty for loving you. : I'VE GOT A HEADACHEEEE!
there are 2 sides to a story, each with its truth and lies : OMG KATHII!!
im guilty for loving you. : OKAY I SHOW YOU THE SEXY ONE
im guilty for loving you. : HAAHHA
im guilty for loving you. : YES?
there are 2 sides to a story, each with its truth and lies: HE'S NOT HOT!!!
im guilty for loving you. : HE IS SO SEXY LA!
im guilty for loving you. : HAHAH OKAY IM HAPPY!
there are 2 sides to a story, each with its truth and lies: HAHAHA
there are 2 sides to a story, each with its truth and lies: WTH
im guilty for loving you. : marcusss
im guilty for loving you. : he is so hot and sexxy!

haha.. wth rite.. omg.. kathi-lynnn is like obsessed and is about to become a stalker!! HAHAHA!! funny name and non-sexy boy watch out!! HAHAHA

Marcus Eng

10 March 1990
19
ACS International
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