with those eyes you see right through me
and with that face, you're so damn lovely

with that smile you make my heart thump
and with that touch you make me wanna jump

with that voice thats oh so pure and sweet
and with that look, shivers down to my feet

with your nonsense i'm always grinning
and with your this and that, my mind is spinning

with your conversations, i'm always never bored
and with your everything, its like oh my god

with that laugh you make me wanna smile
but with that guy whos oh so sick and vile

with your words you really made my day
and with your everything, i'd wish "sighh. if only there was a way"

do dreams mean anything? i really do wish that dreams have some special meaning.. like maybe they tell the future? goshh i really wish they did.. bleahh.. so i had this dream.. that was weird in a way. but at the same time, so damn good! (: but then again.. its just a dream.. nothing more. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ):

so anyways, had lunch on saturday at fish and co. with bingxi, char-maine and eunice.. haha. such a random group of people. but it was really fun and super hilarious!! we should go for lunch more often! ive had a very unproductive weekend. its like, i had no motivation whatsoever to do anything at all.. oh well..OHH!! i talked to kristi for 27 mins on the phone!! I MISS YOU PAL!! it was good hearing your voice! cheer up k!! oh and i did have this really long 2 hour conversation with my breastfliend! (: and it was actually a very good and enlightening talk! finals this friday.. 9pm.

so i get really confused sometimes. cause at times its damn good. other times its damn weird. and like i donno. do you know? do you believe it? hmmm. i mean like, you act very differently somtimes.. shit. i think right.. im falling deeper, crap. and i really want to give up.. i really do.. but its so hard sometimes.. aarrghh. what to do what to do?

you know.. the more i think abt it and you.. the more pissed i get.. urghh. you really piss me off sometimes.. soon i might just snap

so last night while on the phone.. i felt really depressed.. and i start thinking, life is damn depressing. like how the bad always outweighs the good. and how bad thigns happen to good people. and when you really do wanna smile and be happy, its hard cause theres nth to be happy about. that kinda sucks. like its so much easier to feel sad than happy.. AND how there are more things to make you feel down than things that cheer you up.
top that sweeta! hahaha

so i got home at like 10:30 today.. and the funny thing is, i didnt even like go out or anything. stayed back to watch the girls rugby match. it started really late. like 6? so was in school playing peanut hold em with lian nic duncan jonho and tim. haha. lame yes. so yeah. ruggby match. touch rugby gets kinda boring after awhile but its ok i guess. acs int kicked MI's backside 16-1 or sth like that. sweet revenge cause the MI tennis girls called our tennis girls bitches.. wth right. very hostile match that was kinda rough considering its TOUCH rugby. but yeah. good job girls! and good job priss!!!!!! now you better come watch my hockey final next week!! haha. the match ended at like 7:30.. so hanged around till priss finished changing. then priss bingxi jonho kui and i spent the next 2 hours at burger king. it was damn fun cause i haven actually eaten dinner with kui and bingxi before.. and we just talked and talked about tons of random stuff. it was good! (: shared cab home with priss. talked a lot. i was deleting all my old messages right, and kristi said before that when i have too much time on my hands i tend to think a lot. but hey. its not that bad of a thing?

so i found out sth today. wow. guess what.. feeling's mutual.. cause you know, im really close to the edge too.. one push and i might just snap. so watch out. so i guess theres only one way to solve this little problem huh.. and you know. i kinda blame you for the cause of those shitty last month or so.. tand life. fuck. you just totally ruined it. so i guess this is it huh. and you know. im unlucky too. and it takes 2 hands to clap.

this is from kathi

RULES:
Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post of their own 6 idiosyncracies as well as clearly state this rule. After stating your own six weirdness you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names at the bottom of the entry.Don't forget to leave a comment on their tagboards to say you're tagged and tell them to read your blog for more information as to what it means.
Idiosyncracies means a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to the individual.

1) i dont eat chilli with my nasi lemak which kathi claims is very weird.. oh. i eat prawn noodles without prawns

2) i supposedly have this weird high pitched way of saying what the fuck! oh and char-maine says i have a weird way of saying RETARD. haha

3) when someone says sth damn stupid, i give this wtf look and smack my forehead

4) i average like one phone conversation a day with my breastfliend and i love our random conversations!

5) i always have the same sequence when putting on my gear before a match. like left skate then right skate. and how i tape my socks must be in a sequence. and how i must go 3 fast laps before warm up. im superstitious that way.

6) when im really really bored or if im feeling down.. i like to plug in my ipod and just write and write.

tag
1) char-maine
2) andrew
3) priss
4) cal
5) nat
6) eileen

16 high!!

Aint no shade and aint no trees..

im like addicted to earthquake and sharks by brandtson.. its really really nice and it has like a very catchy tune.. haha. its like stuck in my head!!

so student council camp was honestly very fun and a huge barrel of laughs.. we all bonded and i guess really got to no each other better.. like how feline is a BIG coward and is afraid of like EVERYTHING! bingxi is a shit taker and everyone loves to bully him! nic sucks at drawing! ananya and annabelle can yell and scream like no ones business and thats why they;re good at pictionary! hahah. and yes. we all love pictionary!! 13 people all stuck together for 24 hours. it was a blast. and i guess besides council meetings, we haven't spent a lot of time with some of the council members. so it was a blast. stupid straw games that frustrated the hell out of all of us. DISC which was ermmm.. well. boring.pictionary which was hilarious and really fun but gave all of us sore throats. which reminds me that people still owe us forfeits!! haha. ghost stories in the dark at 2am in the morning. .a huge bunch of people squeezing next to each other trying to sleep. mr. lim scaring the living days out of all of us. and everyone not being able to sleep either due to the cold or the uncomfortableness of the floor. masking tape and stickers pasted here and there.taboo, more boring DISC and strategic planning followed. oh and of course. 16 high!!!! it was fun and accomplishing. we now know our vision. our values and all that good stuff. oh. i forgot to add. there are very scandalous pictures of bingxi!!! i know you love me bingxi!! tiring and yet i wanna do it all over again! i need pictures!! someone send me!!

so like i guess you;ll probably think abt it now. and like i dont know whats gonna happen. i guess we'll see huh

so i went for a medical check up today. and ermm.. the doc told me i had a heart murmur. well i kinda already knew cause my mom told me long ago but i didnt really thnk abt it today. cause the doc was telling me maybe i should go for a heart examination. and he said the symptoms are fatigue breathlessness chest pains.. and i do experience them but i always thought it was due to like me being fat and unfit. hmm. then he asked "do you feel now you dont exercise as well as last time?" then i was like "i donno. i mean. ive always had heart murmur right. so like i wont know whether last time was good or not." haha.hmm. oh wells.. maybe i should go for a heart exam? but later they say i cant play hockey or sth.. oh my oh my. i read on the internet heart murmurs can be both innocent murmurs and there are dangerous ones. time to pray. haha

anyways. we won the first leg of the semis 12-6. second leg on sunday. thanks sheryl and jonho for coming to watch. really appreciate it. and thanks to everyone else who wished me luck and asked me how the match went. (:

arrghhhh.. emo songs are nice but they dont make you feel happy.. bleahh

im like really addicted to she wants revenge now. really good band. their music is really different. thanks shumei! for introducing it to me!! i love tear you apart.the lyrics. damn spot on

Late night, in passing, mention it flip to her
Best friend, it's no thing, maybe it slipped
but the slip turns to terror and a crush to like
when she walked in he froze up, leave it to fright

It's only just a crush, it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know
You pray it all away but it continues to grow

big day tomorrow.. urghh crappp.. anyways, met sheryl and jonho at holland. then went nydc to eat before going to civil service college for this college fair thingy.. stanford duke yale. really really good colleges. met bingxi there. but we were like an hour late cause we didnt know it was like some seminar thingy. but yeah. listened awhile. got some brochures. then we sat down and started stressing about the future. especially bingxi! he was like "WHAT AM I DOING IN SINGAPORE! I REALLY REGRET BEING HERE! MOE IS SCREWING US UP!!" which is kinda true cause moe kinda makes us lag behind other ppl.. you know bingxi got some scholarship to this school in the UK which would then allow him to go cambridge. but he couldnt go casue of NS. and ministry of defence wouldnt let him do NS after his studies. now how screwed up is that. i say very very fucked up/. and very very stupid. i mean its a frikking scholarship. and of course they're not gonna hold his spot for 2 years. gay piece of shit. cant say anymore cause we dont have freedom or speech or freedom of press in this great DEMOCRATIC country. urghh. whatever. but yeah. we just sat around, talked, stressed, panicked and like bitched about how life here sucks. urghh.. then went jonho's house for awhile. ok. im bored. i just taped my new stick. im all pumped for tmr. ohhh. i rollerbladed 20 km this morning. amazing huh.

you know they say you never truly appreciate something until its gone. amen to that. i really miss 2006. and i never fully appreciated it. cause i always said how much it sucked and how i wished for 2007. well. be careful what you wish for. cause well. to say 2007 sucks ball is an understatement. i mean. its damn messed up. and urghh. i dont even wanna elaborate. i want 2006 to come back. but obviously that aint gonna happen. and trust me. in 2008, i wont be saying i miss 2007. cause there really aint anything to miss. go away 2007. seriously./ why cant time fly by. urghh fuck

i guess tmr we shall see huh

i miss you

i miss you too

i guess i was right. you really werent who you seemed to be. what are you up to now?

you're wasting your life away

two faced sob

llying backstabber

i think you know.. and it scares me. should i? its 50/50 right now. sighh

i think im starting to really dislike you

so we lost. in div 1 that is. didnt even make playoffs.. sighhh. i guess theres still div 2 semis in monday. cant screw that one up or ill be fucking sad! ): sighhhhh... pressure!!!!

you know everytime i kinda feel bad for what happened. everytime i think maybe its time to forget the past.. everytime i wanna move on. everytime i wanna go back to before, something crops up and makes me even more pissed than i initially was. you know its funny how things work out. cause i mean, last year was good.. this year. well.. crap.. but then again, thinking back on it, the trust issue was kinda one way. i mean.. i trusted you and told you everything. and i donno if you didnt trust me or what cause you didnt tell me squat and had to lie about everything. funny how you're the one always lying and yet i trusted you so damn much. i guess life's funny that way huh. its like you chose her.. but every single time something went wrong, we were always there for you no matter what. i was asked this 2 days ago, "if he was in trouble, would you risk getting in trouble in order to save him?" and i answered yes just like that with no hesitation whatsover. i guess im stupid that way huh.

i wish i really could tell you everything. but i know that something will go wrong someway somehow. i mean. things got kinda messed up. and when we tried to solve it a few times it didnt really work out. and thus this pretending the other person doesnt exist thing. you know, i honestly thought things would just be fine and all after we both went our separate ways. and i guess things didnt. i mean, im still really worried for you. everytime i hear you get in trouble. and how so many teachers are saying stuff about you now. and how someone told me to talk to you cause i need to get you out of constant trouble. and how someone indirectly said i was the cause of your behaviour. and i kinda feel guilty. maybe i should've accepted responsibility. maybe i should've done something about it. too late now huh. i mean, it takes 2 hands to clap. i guess its both our faults? i mean like we shouldnt blame each other.. and i donno. but like. i just wish you'd stay out of trouble. i mean i have no right saying all this but im just trying to look ut for you and shit. casue i dont like what im seeing now.. but yeah. whatever

i really wanna tell you something. but i dont know if i should

A long time ago, we used to be friends
But I haven't thought of you lately at all
If ever again, a greeting I send to you,
Short and sweet to the soul I intend.

Its gonne be a really hectic and damn busy stressful 2 weeks ahead.. history and economics test tomorrow. council investiture on friday.. a whole bunch of important matches coming up and a math and physics test next week.. ohh crap. oh. and a huge mountain of assignments due soon.. shittt. but on the brightside, im really looking forward to next week..

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

school's gotten really weird and funny lately. like not in a good way.. like all of a sudden, so much politics and this and that. i thought last year was drama, this year has twice the amount. oh well. life without drama would be hella boring huh? but sometimes too much aint all that good either. the backstabbing and the this and that.

You are the sun
You are the only one
My heart is blue
My heart is blue for you

i believe in second chances. i mean, everyone should get a second chance. to maybe right his wrong. or maybe just change things for the better. so you give people second chances. but if those people take those second chances but doesnt change for the better. in fact, maybe get even worse. its like taking the second chancce you gave him/her and he/she is throwing it back in your face. you just sit there cause you dont know what to do. and then you start to regret giving that second chance in that first place cause now you look like the retard. and then that person maybe decides he/she wants a third chance. or a fourth. where do you draw the line? do you even draw a line? third fourth fifth chances. and that person doesnt do shit. then what? can you let go?

You're a chance taker, heartbreaker
Got me wrapped around your finger

you know what? come to think of it. you are slowly becoming like ___.. heck, you're becoming even worse. no one knows you anymore.

Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.

now that i think of it. i think you do know. and if you do, can you just be straight about it. dont be like ___. cause then that would suck. so be truthful about it.

Stanford's in California
Dartmouth's in New Hampshire
Duke is in North Carolina
Yale is in Conneticut
Brown is in Rhode Island

Dream on marcus, dream on..

methodist walk on saturday was a big waste of time. should've escaped but what the heck. exercise. urghh. long walk in the hot hot sun. really big waste of time. but whatever. watched shooter after that with priss jonho sheryl andrew steph georg tim.. pretty good movie i guess. violent and gruesome.

uwei and debbie visited today. haven't seen them in a really long time.. oh... me and jonho are seriously considering SIM. but donno la.. people always leave. i really finally do realise that. and you never realise how much you miss someone till they;re finally gone.. sighhhh

i guess it was a lie? what you said. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH.. fuuuuccckkkk

so i owe my BB a blogpost cause she says she keeps coming here but reading the same ol depressing post.. so heres a long boring post..

under a constant avalanche. sighh.. it never ends..

lifes full of bumps... but why suddenly the constant nonstop bumps in the road.. urghh.. fuck..

Marcus Eng

10 March 1990
19
ACS International
Ice Hockey

My Life

follow me on Twitter

Plurk.com