i'm drained both physically and mentally. like there's nothing left and i'm running on empty now. maybe its all catching up. everything that you think you can put away without solving will eventually come back. if you dont get rid of things, they just snowball and you'll have to deal with a bunch of shit all at once and it'll soon take a toll on you. it'll drain you of your energy and all and you;ll just wanna fuck it all

i'm so tired its not even funny. went for soccer training and now im frikking tired. maybe its a sign? sometimes you get so tired. not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. shit happens and it takes it toll on you. sometimes you just get so damn frustrated with a bunch of different things and you get so tired of things. you get tired of people, you get tired of the things people do, you get tired of the shit you get into, you get tired of the problems you face. basically you just get tired of everything and yet no matter what, they;ll still be there no matter what. you just gotta deal. you dont have a choice. thats life. it sucks. shit happens. what can you do?

kui said "life is like a videogame. would you want to use cheat codes to make it easier?" kui really gives good quotes sometimes.

isnt it sad how there always seems to be something thats always bothering you no matter what. like theres always this little thing that kinda pisses you off cause its so annoying and irritating and yet you cant do anthing about it and you cant tell the people involved. so you just go on and pretend everythings alright cause thats life. full of facades

school was ok i guess. tok presentation with mich today. tuesdays are actually relatively easier days compared with other long tedious i-wanna-slash-my-wrists-cause-school-is long- days.

i can kinda see it coming. but i hope it doesnt. yes i cant control it but i gotta curb it. it cant happen

as priss said, "not too close but not too far"

i find it kinda funny how people go on and judge people and the things they do and accuse them of being fake and just saying a bunch of things about them when they themselves are like that or they do those sorts of things. hypocrites. pisses you off doesnt it

i had an epiphany just now. like you know how this sudden thought races through your mind. sometimes that thought just makes you think about things you thought were once buried and dead. but shit happens and things can sometimes funnily find a way to resurface. and then sometimes you realise that things werent what they seem and that maybe it wasnt so bad irt resurfaced. cause you learn things, and then you realise how stupid you were. and you feel liike fuck and all. and then you think to yourself, what the fuck am i supposed to do now? that always seems to be the hardest question huh?

bingxi said people change. and he's right. people do change whether you like it or not. for good or for bad, people change all the time. sometimes they change to the point where you barely recognise them anymore and you struggle to look for what you once knew. lifes sad that way. the thing is, when you think about it, you assume that a persons changed for the worse after that persons acting differently and all. and you get all sad about it cause someone you once knew has taken a change for the worse. but you know whats scary? what if that person hasnt changed and that he/she were like that from the start. and the things you looked for in them were all just an act, a facade and now their facade's fading and you realise that this is who they really are. scary huh

deceived and used. i guess i'm a fool

an alright start to a day. an alright math test followed by alright classes which was all before an alright council meeting. i guess to sum it all up, it was an alright day. nothing really interesting happened. nothing to rouse us all from boredom. council was long and draggy and it kinda just dawned on me that a lot of shit is coming up soon and im gonna be really busy. tok presentation tomorrow. do we ever get breaks?

sometimes i wish i had wings. i just wanna spread them and fly away

Something's wrong because I find the glamour
In the darkside,
In the darkside
(Where'd I go wrong?)
Cheap regrets, can't forget
Falling victim to the debt still,
Unpaid in my mind

It's gonna take me, you don't know tragedy
I've been to hell and back, can ya tell it?
Close my eyes and lay me down to sleep
I fear the worst might be the urgence to explode
And my time is up so...
Why can't I just lie?

Suffocate the dreams in my mind
Well I can't stop believing
Drown the thoughts that have me confined
This life is hard to begin
Good as dreams as black as the night
No one told me end is a lie

some say its easy to smile and be happy. its easier to frown and be sad

went to town and hung out with joshua andrew and woon. hanging out with them is seriously fun and hilarious. cabbed to holland and had dinner with chang and charmaine before going to school for the musical. bingxi was being REALLY annoying! the musical was alright i guess. almost everyone did really well. but i couldnt really hear the words so yeah. but it was ok. went for dinner with joshua andrew bingxi and chloe. then to starbucks then cabbed home.

two faced? i have no idea what to believe anymore.

one sided

read between the lines cause nothing is at it seems. whats real whats fake? thats the question aint it?

annoying.. fucking annoying

someone looks you in your eyes and tells you something without any hesitation. and you find out that was a lie. how can you believe that person anymore?

somethings been bothering for the longest time now. i need to get it off my chest. out of my system cause its annoying me and its gonna be forever there.

im really scared. all the time. the littlest thing could you set you off. its supposed to be a 2 way street. sometimes we veer off course but i know ill always find a way back to that road. but you i dont know. sometimes i feel you can just find another route without hesitation. sighhhh. ):

theres only one conclusion to every story. we all fall down. and sometimes its really hard to get up and yet we have to. sometimes we have friends to pull us up, other times we're on our own. sometimes we trip and thats why we fall down. sometimes we get pushed down. sometimes its not the falling down that hurts, its finding out who pushed us that breaks your heart

Dead-end roads
And warning signs
Destination nowhere In sight

Confusion's all I see
Frustration surrounds me
Solution, bid farewell
Sedation, what the hell?

i guess its the quiet things that no one ever knows. sometimes we keep things to ourselves cause you think no one will know how you feel.

i just wanna numb it all. and not feel anything. and yet feelings dont go away
i wanna walk away but i keep getting drawn back
i wanna forget but the memories just flood back
i wanna just fuck it all and yet i cant

i had this long conversation with mr chew yesterday. it was really interesting and thought provoking. and he gave me a book! i can honestly say that mr chew is like the best vice principal ever! who knew even he could be emo.

mrs ashley is gone!!!!!!! ): ): ): we're all gonna miss you madam!!! and its still not right!

i love the new sum 41 album and i need to go buy it.

jealousy/envy is one of the seven deadly sins. as a sin, we shouldnt really practice it. but theres a little bit of it in every single on of us. no matter who you are, you're always gonna be jealous of something. whether its the spoilt brat who gets everything he/she wants. or the smart ones who get straight A's without even trying. or the flirts who gets all the girls/guys with a simple smile and a little bit of flirting. but i guess thats life. full of people who are way better than you at things. what can you do? maybe you gotta just concentrate on your strengths instead of focusing on other people strengths.

omgggg. life still fucking sucks. my grades are urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and hockey season is still far far away! ok. how does life suck right now? well. other than the things i just mentioned, i have a stuipd TOK presentation due next week on god knows what. and i dont know why but lately, ive been feeling kind of bleahhhh. i dont know why and i havent really talked abt it so maybe thats it? like yesterday, i felt so frustrated and irritated. i dont know. it seems the littlest things can piss me off nowadays. like everyday there'll be something. but urgh. i guess thats life. we just gotta learn to deal and shit? if you think about it, you can never not feel stressed? like when you think your stress has gone away cause your tests are over or whatever, its not cause like there'll be more stress coming along to replace your old stress. i guess that way, we're never free and at peace? what would it be like to be free of trouble and worry? thats the question aint it.

*INSERT PICTURE HERE*
thats supposed to be my muse who inspired me to write the paragraph above. but until i get a picture, her identity will be a mystery to all. HAHA! she gives me inspiration to write emo nonsense and just be emo in general. inspiration to write and blog and all that good stuff! but yeah. everyone should have a muse to get inspiration and ideas from.

MUSE–noun
1.
Classical Mythology.
a.any of a number of sister goddesses, originally given as Aoede (song), Melete (meditation), and Mneme (memory), but latterly and more commonly as the nine daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne who presided over various arts: Calliope (epic poetry), Clio (history), Erato (lyric poetry), Euterpe (music), Melpomene (tragedy), Polyhymnia (religious music), Terpsichore (dance), Thalia (comedy), and Urania (astronomy); identified by the Romans with the Camenae. b.any goddess presiding over a particular art.
2.
(sometimes lowercase) the goddess or the power regarded as inspiring a poet, artist, thinker, or the like.
3.
(lowercase) the genius or powers characteristic of a poet.

thats the definition of a muse. WAH!! SO IMPRESSIVE!! everyone should just feed of her amazingness! hahaha

whats your greatest fear in life?
there are always things that we fear. things we're afraid to meet head on. things that we're scared to come across. everyones scared of things. i'm really scared of needles and rats. but whats your greatest fear in life? in could be anything really. an object. enclosed spaces, water, heights. our greatest fear is the one thing/situation that we never want to happen or come across. the one thing that we'd do anything to avoid. the one thing that instill fear in our hearts. the one that the we really really dread happening and would just break down if its happens. whats you greatest fear in life?
my greatest fear is that i'd one day lose you

jodi picoult is like one of my favourite authors of all time! i love her books! my sisters keeper is the saddest book ive ever read!! and the pact is the best book ive ever read. right up there with shadows of the wind! omg.. i love jodi picoult! her books are soo sad!! and depressing! and they make you think abt life and stuff

im tired. but i guess everythings finally over. and im really happy. but at the same time, i now have time to think about everything that i was once too busy to think or care about. would you rather be stressed and happy or have nothing to do and upset?

someone WISE once told me "every time you think you have everything you could ever want, you find just one more thing you cant have"

that person also said "we think we cant live without sth until we lose it, then we realise that we never really needed it in the first place"

words of wisdom eh. funny how life works

i think its funny how in life, we can go so quickly from being happy to being so damn sad. like how the littlest things can affect the way we're feeling. how the slightest comment can bring about a huge mood swing. how a single person can turn our frown upside down, and how that same person can wipe any smile of our face and make us just wanna cry. life's full of emotion, we feel happy we feel sad. the thing is, we always feel more sadness than hapiness. no one can truly be happy can they. but why can someone be truly sad?

i spent the whole of my saturday reading harry potter. it was a pretty good book but lets just say the ending was really really crappy and kinda annoyed me. urgh. but it was a good book nonetheless. and its really really sad and depressing cause so many people die. oh wells. thats life right. people always leave.

its kinda fucked how sometimes you get caught in the middle of stuff. you know how 2 people are going against each other and they;re telling you for god knows what reason. and the thing is you dont know who to believe. cause one could be lying. both could be lying or none at all. and you're caught in the middle and you dont know who to believe and you dont know what to do. and it just makes you all stressed out cause you thought things were gonna look up and then this kind of shit just hits you right in the head.

the thing about people is that you never know whats truth and whats lie. you never know who your true friends are until the fake ones stab you in the back. like someone who you've been trusting for so long could be talking about you behind your back. people who you thought would never ever backstab you are the ones with the sharpest knives. then there are those who dont seem like the sort to do anything wrong, but dont be so quick to judge people. its kinda fucked how they always prove you wrong. you never know who a person really is. everything you see is a facade and is what they want you to believe. i guess lifes fucked that way

i spent the whole of my saturday reading harry potter. it was a pretty good book but lets just say the ending was really really crappy and kinda annoyed me. urgh. but it was a good book nonetheless. and its really really sad and depressing cause so many people die. oh wells. thats life right. people always leave.

its kinda fucked how sometimes you get caught in the middle of stuff. you know how 2 people are going against each other and they;re telling you for god knows what reason. and the thing is you dont know who to believe. cause one could be lying. both could be lying or none at all. and you're caught in the middle and you dont know who to believe and you dont know what to do. and it just makes you all stressed out cause you thought things were gonna look up and then this kind of shit just hits you right in the head.

the thing about people is that you never know whats truth and whats lie. you never know who your true friends are until the fake ones stab you in the back. like someone who you've been trusting for so long could be talking about you behind your back. people who you thought would never ever backstab you are the ones with the sharpest knives. then there are those who dont seem like the sort to do anything wrong, but dont be so quick to judge people. its kinda fucked how they always prove you wrong. you never know who a person really is. everything you see is a facade and is what they want you to believe. i guess lifes fucked that way

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!! (:

so today was andrews birthday and we gave him a surprise party kinda. it was kinda messed up cause like we planned it .only yesterday. and ppl were damn late. so yeah. but it worked out in the end!!! (:
we told andrew we were going to bring him to the zoo. then we stalled and stalled and stalled. then i told him priss was stuck in some restaurant with no money. so we went there and everyone yelled SURPRISE!! HAHAHAHA!! it was hilarious. we just made fun of bingxi the whole of dinner. lime margaritas were good. strawberry margaritas were better!!! chicken quesadilla! Margaritas is a a good restaurant!! and i like mexican food!!!!!!!!!! i miss baja fresh! ):
so yeah. then we went to nic's house where me and kui were supposed to strip to our boxers and like jump into the pool for money. but change of plans. we got sheryl woon priss joshua into the pool. then we got nic eunice. and after a long long struggle we got andrew. omg. andrew was struggling like a wild animal. holy shit. he kicked nic! so yeah. then bingxi came and we threw him in and just humiliated him! haha. thats how we treat our head prefect! haha. junhung came
then we gambled. you know honestly. that was the most fun ive had in quite awhile.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW!! HOPE YOU HAD FUN!! (:

youi know today. its like a huge burden has been lifted off my chest. a huge weight off my shoulders. omg. like finally tests over. all my assignments have been handed up. andrews bday over. haunted hoouse over. finally no more stress! but the thing is, once theres nothing to occupy your mind. you start thinking abt stuff that you really didnt get a chance to think about. its not always a good thing.

sometimes when shit happens. you find yourself with a decision to make. and you ask yourself what should you do? sometimes its a choice of choosing sides. other times its a choice of doing the right thing and doing the best thing. sometimes its about having moral and ethics and not doing what you think is right or wrong. decisions make up your life. a few wrong ones change it. you never know what might happen, thats the scary part.

friendships are based on trust. trust that should rightfully go 2 way. cause thats what friendships are about. so if a friendship doesnt have 2 way trust, is it still a friendship? i trust you so much and shit and you dont trust me at all.

jealousy makes you do things that you wouldnt normally do. jealousy makes you dislike people you normally are friends with. jealousy just eats away at you until you can no longer help it. jealousy is bad, and yet you cant help but feel jealous cause of everything going on around you

you know how your friends always give you advice. and sometimes your friends give you conflicting advice. like one says this. the other says the complete opposite. so either way you gotta not listen to one of them. what if every single one of your friend tells you one thing and yet you choose not to listen. do they not know better? are you taking a risk? are you following a gut feeling? or are you just plain stupid?
i hope im doing the right thing. please prove them wrong

its a day after celefest. or as dr barrett would say. celefest plus one. i dont know whether it was good or not but i dont realy care. our haunted house was ok i guess. a lot of people cried. a lot were damn scared and there were a few who cried. lol. a huge sense of relief that its all finally over. no more stressing.. over the haunted house that is. i mean. its life. theres always things to stress about. but thanks to everyone who helped out. and especially to my commitee people who did so much work and helped me out a lot and were basically there all the time and shit. THANK YOU james mich johnny shumei andrew sweta priss. thanks you guys! realy appreciate./ now we go claim CAS hours!

so we finished setting up friday night at like 10+. then we ate dinner and me priss sheryl ellen kui and andrew met kathi to watch harry potter. not worth it! so yeah. then at like 4am after the movie ended we went to sarine. everyone fell asleep while i stayed up and wrote. then ellen woke up and we went to walk for like 10 mins. then we sat with ronald mcdonalds and talked and talkedfor like 45 mins. it was good. i dont think ive ever had such a meaningful conversation with chang before. then went back for breakfast and cabbed back to school for celefest.

the twins are gone! ): im sorry....

the last 2 weeks have been so bleahh its not even funny. i feel so stressed and frustrated. urghh. and pissed at the same time. this haunted house for celefest is really killing me. taking a toll. pissing the living daylights out of me la. fuck. today was really really. ermm. urghh. school was crap. staying back after that was crappier;. sigh. but thats life right. it sucks and shit happens.

isnt it funny how song lyrics can describe you so perfectly? kinda scary huh

i'm like addicted to crystal ball by keane now

oh crystal ball, crystal ball,
save us all
tell me life is beautiful
mirror mirror on the wall.

im tired. my head hurts. tmr is gonna suck. but im looking forward to tmr night

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

what if one day you woke up and everything was different. nothing was the same. things that were once there are now gone. people you dont recgonise take the place of people you once knew. you don't know where you fit in anymore. you lose your sense of familiarity cause nothing seems the same anymore. you realise you dont know things the way you used to. people you thought you knew proved to be so different. life's scary that way. one day you could wake up and everything could have changed.

i got to talk to mrs ashley today!! it was good! she;'s damn cool to talk too! DONT LEAVEE!! ): but yeah. had a good talk with her. and really funny cause bingxi woon andrew and joshua joined halfway. than lian came and lian's always worth a laugh or 2. so yeah. and i talked to lian. lian seems so wise. like he;'s been through so much more and has all these great things to say and all his words of wisdom when in acual fact he;'s only a few months older than me. haha. (:

ok. so i was forced to do this. hello chang. you hobbit!!!!! we even have a secret pose with you! and thanks k! for ermm. everything i guess. and sorry i made fun of you so much, but bo pian la. cant help it!! (:

the eyes are the windows to your soul. and if you could look me straight in the eye and see through, you'd see things are so different on the inside compared to the outside.

if i could i turn back the clock i would. i want things to go back to the way they were. so help me here. but i guess the balls in your court now. your move

you know life could just end just like that. like what if tomorrow never comes.. its kinda scary huh. you think of everything you did. everything you didnt do. the people you've wronged and people you didnt get to say goodbye to. and its kinda sad thinking about what people remember you for.. life's weird. it could end anytime. we gotta learn to appreciate the things we have before its too late. we gotta right the wrongs, say sorry to ppl you've wronged and thank those that are always there for you. you forgive others so god can forgive you. i was thinking about all of this in the cab ride home with priss. and like we realised we gotta make changes. like we gotta right the wrongs. find closure and find peace. im gonna let my friends now they're appreciated. and apologise to those ive wronged. im gonna make things right.. or at least im gonna try. if i haven;'t called you or talked to you online. i haven;t forgotten you. dont worry. and if i wasnt so damn tired. id put a picture of each one of you and type a long paragraph to thank you

you know sometimes in life you think that by doing something you'll fix this problem. or you think that nothing can go wrong. but like the next thing you know, everything just fucks up and gets blown wide open. and you suddenly wish you hadnt done it and things would go back to normal. btu the sad part abt life is that you cant reverse time. you cant take back the things you did or said. you gotta just deal with it and pray that things will work out. you want things to go back to normal but some things cant be forgotten. "in life you only lose what you dont want to" i guess its true. sad but true. but life surprises you. there might be twists and turns along the way; you just gotta wait and see what happens.
i'm sorry, i really am. if i could, i'd turn back the clock and make things the way they were

i think its funny how you think you know someone, and then that person just comes out and totatlly surprises you. it can be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. but thats life right. good and bad. never knowing which one you get till it happens. lifes full of shock and surprises. you can never be really prepared of whats to come cause you never know yourself. i guess lifes funny that way. people too. people who decide to be damn fake in your face. like really nice and friendly to you but like saying things behind your back. but again, thats life. full of these kinds of bastads and bitches. what can you do huh. life sucks that way

fuck you. you're so god damn fake. you know like a month ago, same thing.. and i just kinda let it go. and then now, one more time. funny how things work out in the end huh. i do nothing. you just continue.. well. fuck you. cry me a river and drown in it. you know. ive just about had enough of your nonsense. you know what they say, revenge is sweet.

yesterday was kinda alright. ok at first before kinda going downhill. the last 2 days, ive been exahausted. like so tired its not even funny. physically mentally and emotionally drained. oh wells. ellen's baptism was ok i guess. baptisms arent really my cup of tea. went for dinner at sakae sushi with ellen sheryl bingxi shumei and johnny. i really enjoyed their company and all. went to Big O's for dessert which was just. ermmm. funny. like we oredered so much. we couldnt finish. our comments on the comment cards. and jsut talking and laughing the night away. it was fun. like i said. i really enjoy the company. and ive suddenly discovered my passion of taking photos. i dont know why. i have this urge to take photos of things around me.. its like, i wanna keep the memories. like memories of the things you do and the people you meet. cause like. you never know when those memories might just end

i love BINGXI!!!! NERD!!



i love LIANNNNN!!!!


hmmm. i wonder who

lol. this pic is frikking hilarious

i donno why. but i really like this picture

today was really really... ermm. i have no idea how to describe today. i cant think of a single word to describe today. sad happy depressing emo frustrating angry weird wasted can all be used to describe today actually. like seriously, such a mood swing day it wasnt even funny. but yeahh. no english today. this long emo talk with jonho. physics was boring as usual. and i dont even wanna talk abt math. fucking frustrating and just pissed the living daylights out of me. afte school we were supposed to work on the haunted house. but after working for awhile, it was kinda weird cause like everyone started to leave the room to go on emo talks with each other. im serious. like at one point. there were like 3-4 pairs or threes of us just sitting scattered around being all depressed and emo and pouring our soul to each other. it was kinda cool but really sad cause like everyone was in such a sad and emo mood and shit. yeahh. fuckkkk. priss ellen and i jsut stayed back to like talk and talk and rant and shit abt everything. met johnny shumei for dinner at holland v. lian and bingxi came too. it was a really good dinner at nydc. like we just talked and talked and laughed so much it was really fun. bingxi was a fucker. wah lau. you insulted me la. it hurt k. right through the heart!! ): and i got to talk to lian and listen to his really wise advice! thanks lian. and yeah. it was realy fun. pictures prove it! after that went to shumei's house with priss ellen bingxi. just hung around and let the weird night continue. cabbed home with priss.took like a frikking hour to get home cause of traffic. but it was really weird night. saddening and depressing in a way. but hey. thats life. cant say i didnt expect it. oh well.

ellen: you're damn stupid you know marcus. like seriously wtf.
shumei: yeah! you cannot think is it. you know that you were damn retarded
me: yeahh. i know. sighhh


i hate it when people say that. fucking bullshi

i just came home from ice hockey. an hour of adrenaline pumping through your veins, an hour of forgetting all your worries and troubles. and hour of not thinking about anything or anyone except the puck the ice the net the score. god it felt good to play again. but like everything that brings you hapiness. its temporary. when you're all done, you get brought back to reality and all the fucked up things that come with it.

when i grow up. i wanna save the world. no really.. i do. or at least do something great. but you know whats the sad thing about life. sometimes we have no choice but to grow up really quickly. or sometimes we dont get to grow up at all. isnt it scary how life can just end just like that. like boom. scary if you think about it. scarier when you realise the things you didnt manage to do or accomplish. things you never got to say to people. people you never got to say goodbye to. i dont know. the thought scares me. you know, i really treasure my friends. i dont know what i'd do without them. so right, i decided to post a thank you shoutout to people who;ve liked made my life easier i guess. long and boring so maybe you can just skip to your game. and if you're not on that list. tell me!

thank you CHAR-MAINE for being like the bestest bestfriend one could ever ask for. you're always there for me no matter what. you put up with ALL my nonsense. your lame stupid jokes.i could go on and on and on but like you already know how much you mean to me! thanks breastfliend!! i dont know what'd i do without you! (:

thanks KRISTI for being like the bestest pal ever!! even though you're like a bazillion miles away, i know i can just dial 1800 PAL to rant and tell secrets to and just catch up with you. im really glad you;re back for these 2 weeks! must make full use! thanks for everything!

thanks KATHI for being the bestest buddy ever. you're like a frikking long long away from home but i know that ranting and bitching and WHINING is just an easy phonecall away! thanks for always being by my side no matter what and everything. you'll always be my BB!!

thanks PRISS for being such a damn good cousin. i really thank god you're in this school now! i owe you A LOT la. i appreciate all the shit you've done for me and all the shit i put you throuhg. thanks cuz!! blood what. same kind of people right! (:

thanks ANDREW for going through thick and thin for the past donno how long already. although i never show it. i really really appreciate your friendship. like you just listening and giving the most stupidest advice ever really means a lot to me.

thanks SHERYL for the nonsense, the retardedness and the frikking hilarious shit. PUSHPOPS! SHOPPING! IRRITATING TEACHERS! good times good times. but also thanks for always hearing me out. and giving me good advice and shit. you dont look the sort who gives good advice but looks are deceiving! haha! jkjk! thanks!

thanks CHANG for being so damn retarded and so damn hobbit like! no la. thanks for hearing me out and ermm. scolding ppl unnecessarily. but thanks for wasting your saliva on me and yelling at me to get things done. i really appreciate it.

thanks SHUMEI for the laughter and the non stop retardedness that comes hand in hand with you. but thanks for everything k. your foresight into the future. you being right was i donno. unexpected! haha. jkjk. but i guess i should've listened to you. thanks for being patient and listening to my nonsense and putting up with it

thanks JOHNNY for listening to my problems and trying to give me good advice. thanks for being such a funny person to talk to and all

thanks JAMES for the non stop laughter, the shumei imitations, the straight up in your face advice, the haunted house and the coin toss. i cant go a day without laughing without you around. you seriously make acs international not dull at all.

thanks MICH for being the bestest BOAT BUDDY ever. ok. so like maybe now we're no longer in the same boat but SOON we may be. you never know right. and we'll always be boat buddies no matter what!!! and thanks for listening to ALL my rantings without complaining. your really good advice and everything. and you know im always here to listen to you too! madam vice president maam!!

thanks BINGXI for being the funniest NERD ever. your nerdiness and bingxiness will never fail to amuse me. but thanks for your kinda stupid advices and ermm thanks for making things obvious EVERY SINGLE TIME!! you know i still love you la bingxi! but seriously, thanks k. you know i appreciate everything.

thanks KUI for ermm. just being kui. your stupid nonsensical sayings that somehow seem to make sense never ceases to amaze me.

thanks JUNHUNG for you ermmm. junhungness. your random retarded things you suddenly say out of the blue. your "you guys need a life". the eye opening talk today and like everything in between. your advice and all that good stuff! thank you!

thanks ANNABELLE for being such a great EMO BUDDY! our emo emo talks are so ermm. emo? but interesting eyeopening and sometimes quite funny. our emo talks cannot stop! but thanks k! for all the emo talks. and just listening to me rant and whine like a retard and listening patiently. thanks k. for everything. you know im always here to hear me out! (:

thanks WOON and JOSHUA for the ermmm. racist jokes, LOL. the ermm. PHYSICS HW! the non stop laughter that you 2 bring along. the money i win of you guys in hold em. HAHA

ok. i think thats all. tell me if im missing anyone. so yeah. went to barker today to sell celefest coupons. i think the good thing was the skipping of like half my classes. but going there was ermm interesting. going in front of everyone to make announcement when they couldnt even hear us. going to classes where they obviously wanted us to just fuck off. oh wells. junhung anna alison and i had a experience i guess. lazing around in the canteen. making shit with blue tac. embarassing ourselves in front of ppl. oh wells. fun in a weird way i guess.

you know what i hate.
i hate that my tuition teachers phone was off the whole afternoon so i couldnt call him to change my tuition. urghh. so now im waiting patiently for tuition to start.

today was ermmm. really really really boring. chinese was like psp period. english was being retarded with james johnny chang and shumei. math was just crap. history was alright. texas hold em is damn fun. and a quick way to earn cash!

i love our haunted house rooms. its like our own private sanctuary.. oh wells.

james! YOU WERE RIGHT!! i should;ve listened to you!!

STORY OF MY LIFE!!

a slow slow boring day that started with nothing accomplished and ended with nothing accomplished. the twins visited school today. and DARYL TOO!! OMG!! IVE NOT SEEN DARYL IN 6 MONTHS!! felt kinda nostalgic. i mean. it felt like the good ol days. sitting around laughing. not going to class. just talking about shit. whining to my BB! yup. finally had a BB talk! but yeah. just like the good ol days

you know when you look back at how the year started. and you look at the way things turned out. a lot of unexpected things have happened. if you told me in january the things that would;ve have happened, i'd laugh my balls off. but thats the funny thing about life. shit happens. the unexpected may happen. you cant do anythign about it i guess. i mean. whats there to do huh. kathi told me to take one day at a time. enjoy the days as they come and pass. but you know. its kinda hard if you think about it;. people ask you to smile but theres nothing to smile about. people ask you to be happy and you just have to ask WHY? or wahts there to be happy about. life kinda sucks. shit kinda happens. basic philosiphy of life huh. life's kinda unfair. good guys dont always win. theres no such thing as a fairy tale ending. isnt it funny how like it seems one person can get everything while you're stuck with nothing. you know you shouldnt be jealous but how can you not?

sometimes in life you gotta take risks. do things that are probably stupid, crazy, rash and wreckless. but thats life. full of unexpected twists and turn. you never know what might happen till you've tried. sometimes you gotta do something that you're really scared of doing for one thing or another. something you fear of doing. the greatest things in life come from doing things you fear the most

Would you believe me if i told you
That i'm surfacing for just one thieving moment
To steal your heart

Transformers is actually a really really good movie. i mean, i thought it would be really lame and stupid but it was really really cool! I WANT A CAR THAT CAN TRANSFORM INTO A ROBOT!!!!!!! OH! AND MEGAN FOX IS DAMN HOT ! HOLY SHIT! FRIKKING HOT!! and her eyes.. omggggggggggg... reminds me of those eyes....

anyways. met shun priss kristi kathi and andrew at plaza sing. ate at the food court before watching the movie. ive seen the twins 3 days in a row now. and im seeing them tmr! haha. getting my dose before they have to go back! ):

so cab ride home with priss piss was as usual interesting, DEEP, and thought provoking. she pointed out sth that like i thought only i believed. so she believes it too. but i dont know if its good or bad. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. so many questions. not enough answers. but i guess thats life. what can you do eh?

THE TWINS ARE BACK!!!!
good news: 2 weeks with my PAL and BB!! (:
bad news: 2 weeks is a really short time! ):

YESTERDAY
anyways. shashlik lunch with andrew priss shumei johnny kui ellen james mich. it was good as usual. made even better because lunch was FREE!!! then it was off to the airport to meet the twins for like 20 mins. at about 9, met them with priss sheryl andrew mich ellen juncai and nic. went to this apartment of theirs to just hang out and shit. phooi james and kane came afterward. BLACKJACK + TEXAS HOLD EM= BIG MONEY!! yes. i started off with $1. at the end of the night. $42. OMFG! amazing huh. thank you juncai nic and andrew for sponsoring my cab ride home and shit. LOL.

church in the morning today. went to ikea for lunch. then went to paragon to meet my PAL! (: shumei ellen and kui came. we hung out at orange julius for a long time. just chated and filled kristi in about life in school. the dramas and everything in between. went to heerens nydc where kristi was talking to sarina and all. so i just sat there and stoned. lol.

ok. you just wasted like a minute or 2 of your life reading about my last 2 days. sorry. but here's a qoute from shumei that might or might not have made it worth your while.

"the person you love and the person who loves you is never the same person"

sad aint it. but i guess its true. im thinking today is a really lucky day. cause i won $42. so i was thinking of doing sth damn crazy. and if i had done it at orange julius, i would have gotten another $20. but i didnt. oh wells. theres still 2 and a half more hours left in the day. so you never know

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you

you dont know what to expect. you dont know what to do. you dont know what to say. whats acting normal? time heals wounds. and yet, it can also reopen new ones.

i'm sorry

we all have secrets. the quiet thing that no one ever knows.

no james, i wouldnt even if she asked me to. and yes i do stupid things _______. but hey, who doesn't. i guess its funny how we always will until its all over and done with and we look at ourselves in the mirror and ask ourselves "why the fuck were we so stupid"

i don't want it being a wedge to widen this gap.

what do you want? what are you up to? whats your goal?

the irony of it all. a barrel of laughs.

$5 mich!! its on! lets see whos got more willpower!

Marcus Eng

10 March 1990
19
ACS International
Ice Hockey

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