sometimes you think that you want to know something, and then when you know that thing, you realised that maybe you were better off knowing.

sooo. a bunch of thigns happened over the last week.
SUNDAY 23rd september
so im sitting in my room. and its 10:30pm. and i hear a knock on my door, but no one opened it. cause like usually my parents will knock and then open the door. and my brother wont even knock. so i found it weird that no one opened. so i was like "urgh fuck" and went to open it. so i opened it AND. there stood kristi and kathi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nad they yelled "SURPRISE!!" HOLY SHIT I TELL YOU! I WAS DAMN FUCKING SURPRISED!! i swear i almost had a heart attack!! i think that was the best surprise ever in my life!!! (: thanks BB and PAL!! omg. the best surprise ever. so they flew back from melbourne for a week and didnt tell anyone about it. i was so damn shocked. so we talked for like an hour and a half before they had to go back.

she said she said she said, "why dont you just drop dead"
i don't blame you for being you
but you cant blame me for HATING IT

so anyways. went to the sports doctor. and i have Flexor hallucis longus (FHL) tendinites. which means that my tendon in my foot is swollen. so the doc told me to stop playing hockey and soccer for awhile and i told him not possible. so now i have to tape my foot everyday and have specially made insoles for my shoes which will hopefully solve the problem. and if it doesnt. then well. i guess life sucks that way.

so last night went to nics house with mich joshua kristi kathi kane jerilyn priss and juncai. omg! it was damn funny! we gambled and i lost 10 bucks! but haha! NIC !! FUCKING UNLUCKY!! HIT POST 6 TIMES IN A ROW! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! then prata house with priss juncai and the twins. haha. damn funny la. juncai is honestly one of the funniest people you'll meet!so yeah. fun night.

sometimes you look back at what you once had and y0u cant help but regret not treasuring it more. then you realise that it wasnt your fault at all that you lost it. and no matter how you did no wrong, there'll always be that niggling feeling that makes you think that you could maybe have done more to salvage it. cause now its too late to do anything about it
i miss it. i miss it so damn much

junhung said
" sometimes i think, its better to not have bestfriends, so you would be protected from the great hurt and pain, that the disappointment brings. cause then, we would have no expectations, just nothing, only the thought of the worse possible. And then, everything would seem fine, at least better than the worse. sometimes we expect too much in friends, in bestfriends, in life, and we faul to see that we are pushing life for something that isn't there, that never will be there. That truly we are just wasting our time, our efforts, and our strenght... but we always fail to realise that."


well. the thing is junhung, yeah sometimes we expect too much in life, and when we dont get what we expect, we just get hurt all that much more. but you know what, bestfriends are always there for you no matter what. bestfriends share your hurt and your pain. you dont need to expect anything from them cause they always seem to find ways to exceed our expectations. bestfriends cheer you up when you;re down, give you a shoulder to lean or cry on. a bestfriend is like a pillar that is always there to support us when it seems like we're going to fall. your bestfriend is always there for you, through thck and thin, through the happiness and the sadness. a bestfriend is a blessing, a blessing that sometimes we take for granted.




thats my bestfriend char-maine. and honest to goodness, i really thank god that she's my bestfriend. cause honestly, i dont know what'd i do without her. she's always there for me no matter what. she makes me laugh just by being herself. she's one of the nicest most amazing and talented and understanding people that i have ever met. i could go on forever describing her good points. but im lazy. and then i could go describe her bad points but she'd smack me! but yeah! she's a blessing, my best friend. our random conversations about the most stupidest things. how we'd talk on the phone almost everyday! how we'd talk at like 2am cause she cant sleep or at 5am cause she woke up to study for igcse. gosh. i think i'd be so lost without her! thanks char-maine! love you breastfliend!! BFFL!! BreastFliends Forever La! (: and dont kill me cause i put that picture up!! you look fine!!


but i guess i do know what junhung is talking about. not your bestfriend but your good friends i guess. you never know who your real friends are until the fake ones stab you in the back. its really hard to know who to trust sometimes casue who knows whats real whats fake? who do you trust with your secrets and problems. cause even your good friends or who you thought was your good friend breaks promises just like that.
fake friends are like shadows, always there right next to you when its all bright and sunny, but nowhere to be found when things turn dark and gloomy.
so many fucking shadows

i;m so bored i finally decided to upload chiangmai photos but still too lazy to blog

woon can sleep through a tornado!

where we showered! in the open!

you once said that i was a good friend, i wish i could say the same about you

its like a huge giant spiderweb where everyones stuck and entwined. everyones going round and round and cutting across each others path. sooner or later something will happen. something will set someone off. im just waiting for the BIG BOOM. the huge explosion where everyone just gets set off. fireworks will go off and i just wanna see the aftermath of it all. right now, i just sit and watch this little spiderweb of doom. the thing about spiderwebs is that more often than not, bad things happen to those stuck on the web. well, we'll just have to wait and see wont we.
my oh my. what a tangled web of lies and deceit we weave, as we lie and we decieve.

today was alright. hanging out with char-maine and glen during free period was fun. sheryl is the most retarded person ever. and she'll never fail to make me laugh my balls off.. haha!
im just looking forward to a godo fun peaceful week. cause like i told prawn. i think i finally got it and i finally understand everything. i guess sometimes we just gotta dig deep and look for our own answers. we can then finally find peace with ourselves and thus finally able to just enjoy things.

well liar.. you know what? you had everyone of us fooled. like seriously. WOW. cause you know, you seemed like a totally different person and now, well, i guess your true colours are shining through. weird huh. like it took so long to realise what kind of person you were. like someone said, fuck it already. dont care anymore. and yup. ive stopped caring for quite awhile now. and like it seems im lucky i did. cause it seems you've got everyone stuck in your trap. you've lied and conned everyone. but hey, be careful. cause when you lie once, you have to tell many more lies to cover up your first one. and wow liar, looks like you've got a whole lot of covering up to do. and watch out, all the lies will catch up with you soon. and when it does, i promise i'll be there watching and laughing. and unlike you, i keep my promises.

you know what i hate? i hate it when you try so hard to be nice or at least nicer to someone cause you wanna fix something or you wanna attempt to fix things, and then that person just turns around and is just a total bitch/bastard to you.

You leave me hanging on the line
Every time you change your mind

sometimes when we have something for so long, we become so afraid of change. cause we're so used to what we have and what we call the norm. we dont want things to ever change cause we're scared of what change might bring. sometimes we hang on too tightly that we suffocate whats there.

the last few days have gone by really really fast. its been a real up and down week i guess. went to coffeebean with ananya after school. .haha. emo talk!! it was really great! thanks for everything!! (:
soccer practice on thursday was so damn tiring. i pulled like every damn muscle in my leg la. but yeah. it was worth it.
went for sakae buffet after school on friday. as usual it was damn fun and frikking hilarious. omg. we have to do it more often!
so yeah. cant really remember anything else abt school. stupid world lit essay deadline was extended. omg. wtf man. ermm. ogl partners.. hah. TSK TSK! eh PARTNER! TOY SOLDIER ROCKS! OR THE MEXICAN BOYS! the sharks are just plain gay.and la razza doesnt even make sense! haha. but yeah! our group will pawn everyone elses!! (:
i have a feeling that this next week of school will be good. i dont know why but i feel that way. hopefully im right.

sometimes we look back at what we used to have and what we have now. yes what we now have might be good and might be great, but maybe what we used to have is better. but we'll never get it back. cause we cant turn back the clock and usually we cant get back whats lost. so i guess we cant do anythign but accept what we have now and enjoy it to the best of our abilities no matter how much worse it is compared to last time. i guess life sucks that way.
i miss it. i miss it so damn much ):

there are many kinds of people in this world. i guess everyones unique cause different people react differently in the same kind of situation. sometimes you meet a total bastard/bitch who just totally ruin your day or week. they just do something that makes you really pissed or really sad. these kinds of people just spoil everythign for you. they affect you so much. but you know what. instead of letting them affect you, just fuck em. dont give a damn, cause when you dont care abt something, it wont affect you.
i dont give a flying fuck anymore

its 3:10 am now and i should be sleeping and my mind is dying but i cannot be thinking any more straight. cause ive been thinking so much about it now. you know what liar, fuck you and the things you do. cause liar, i dont give a flying fuck anymore.

sometimes in life we look back at the things we do and we start to realise how stupid we were. cuase honestly, we all make mistakes and we all do really stupid things. you cant believe that you were so stupid that you actually did those things. but hey, theres no turning back the clock and undoing them. but they say everything happens for a reason, so we gotta sit and wait patiently for that reason to show itself. in the meantime, all we can do is sit, be patient, and hope nothing fucks itself up.

the thing about a true friendship is that little stupid things should not ruin it. but then again, you never know who your real friends are until the fake ones stab you in the back.

Liar liar
If we're keeping score
We're all choir boys at best
Liar liar
It takes one to know one

im back from chiangmai and ellen and shumei were WRONG! i did not have fun and i do not wanna go back. maybe the others ahd fun and wanna go back but im definately glad to be back. like woon said, "we're so far up the devil's ass, theres no way out". i could blog one whole long essay with pictures abt the trip but its 1:1o in the morning and i should be sleeping. ill blog about the trip another day.

It's gonna take me, you don't know tragedy
I've been to hell and back, can ya tell it?
Close my eyes and lay me down to sleep
I fear the worst might be the urgence to explode

you know what fakeness. honest to goodness, you almost got me there. actually, right now, i have no idea what to think, how to feel, how to react. i have no idea what you want or what you;re doing. i dont know what to think or how to feel. congratulations fakeness. with you, i dont know whats real whats fake

liar liar pants on fire. you know they say liars go to hell. but then again, everyone lies. no matter who you are, everyone has lied at least 10 times in their life. but thats life. white lies are supposedly better but you know what, its still a lie. white lie black lie, all the same. lies deceive people whether its for the good or not. well liar, i dont know if you're reading this but hey. lied to me. 2 in 6. damn. you know. i hate being lied to. especially right in the face. be careful liar. one day in might just bite you in the ass.

council today we kinda stressful and shit. too much yelling. too many different ideas. sorry bingxi! but yeah. shared cab home with anna. as usual, really good emo/bitching session. after exams k! i cant wait lucky charm!

sometimes in life we're too afraid of change. we're scared of whats out there and what might happen when change arrives. thats why we hang on to whats always there, we hang on to whats safe even if change promises to be so much better

thank you for proving my point on how people who get what you really want dont deserve it.

the last few days have been a real blur and i cant really be bothered to type out everything that happened. its 2:42 am and im leaving for the airport at 4am. andrews lying on my bed reading archie. chloe joshua and waikit are sleeping in my den. today was fun and hilarious. watched the messengers which was really scary and freaky. oh wells. off to chiangmai for like 6 days. omg. im gonna die. but oh well. we'll see what happens eh. sometimes life throws us curveballs instead of the fastballs we expect.

wow fakeness. you know for a period of time, i actually thought that i wronged you and that maybe i misunderstood you. you know what fakeness? i actually believed the words you said. but well, all good things come to an end eh. i mean, your true colours finally showed and just proved wrong about misunderstanding you. your shallowness and your backstabbing shined right through. your falseness was so damn obvious that i really wonder to myself what kinda person are you. well fakeness, whats next?
i'm gonna miss you

sometimes you just sit in a corner and wait and watch what happens. sometimes you stay in the shadows cause thats all you can do. someone else has won. so all you can do is just sit and wait and hope that person screws up.

Marcus Eng

10 March 1990
19
ACS International
Ice Hockey

My Life

follow me on Twitter

Plurk.com