im 40% done with the exams! sweetness! anyhow, todays physics paper seemed like it was set by the devil. i think like more than half of the class failed. except bingxi who comes out of the class saying "eh that paper was quite easy right". -_- well what do you expect from he who knows the specific heat capacity of his food so he knows how to cook it and he who has physics and math notes pasted on his bathroom walls. ahhh. taking nerdiness to a whole new level! oh wells. cant dwell on the past. its on to economics history and mathematics!! i like the exam week. well not the exams themselves, but the finishing by 11 30 then lunch outside before having to head home. reaching at like 2 30. its been a really really long time since i reached home before 3. i cant wait for friday!!!!!! my mom got my brother 4 free tickets to MOS to watch the click five this thursday. ahhhh. the unfairness of life kicks in. but i guess the world spins like that.

I am standing in the ocean rain

Rough and ready

For your deadly game

I've got nowhere else to go

i was looking through my old diary. the one before the cool red one.. this really torn and tattered green one. and this is what i found
"you are the black hole of my heart,
capturing every emotion and feeling of the beat.
The darkness surrounds me,
But i fear not, for you are with me"
- KATHI
ahhh BB!!! omggg!! i miss you sooooo much!!!! you and your stupid emo poems written in my book!! we were supposed to write a poem together!! then you and kristi abandoned me for melbourne!!! ): ): ): ): sighhhhhhhhh.. hurry come back!! i miss you like fuck!!! you guys better make my christmas happy like last year!!! (:

a year ago i was panicking about my history igcse.. a year ago i was so uncertain about what the next year would bring. a year ago i was so certain i'd still have the same friends. a year ago it was the 3 of us. the 3 amigos. supposedly inseparable. like brothers huh. i dont know if you 2 are gonna read this. but heres the truth. i miss it. the sitting at cold storage talking about stuff only the 3 of us would talk about. the times we just hang out or just go blading. our vow made at that apple strudel place. so yeah. if you 2 are still reading this. heres a toast. to a once great friendship. a toast to what used to be and a toast to what could've been. i used to think it'd be the 3 of us for a long long time. but then again, i also thought a lot of things that never came true. so if you 2 read this, hello and goodbye. funny how things can change in 1 short year.

Straits Times - Saturday 20th October, "Saturday" section. page S25 GO SEEEE!!!

people should just write their own damn blogposts

so exam week. but thank god its only 5 days. it'll be over in a flash!!!
friday was alright i guess. breakfast with priss joshua and sheryl was fun. skipped assembly. then went to school. caught up with johnny and shumei cause i havent seem them for soooo long! didnt really do anything in physics. sheryl and i decided not to go for math so we went with joshua and woon to sushi tei to eat. petrina and chloe joined us after school. took mrt for the first time in god knows how long with joshua and chloe. joshua got hungry so the 3 of us stopped at paya lebar to go macs.. sat there for an hour ordering food with whatever money we could scrounge up. haha. it was fun. weekend just went by in a flash. wow.

i think ive said it before, this exam period reminds me so much of last year. the panicking, the mugging, the notreally studying when you should be, all the phone calls from my bestfriend telling me she cant concentrate or talk about some really random stuff (:
seems so much like last year, but at the same time so different. its funny how so much can change in a year. everything can change so much within 12 short months. sometimes you ask yourself, are you better off now or a year ago? would you turn back the clock if you could?

sometimes we'll really miss someone. and its not that we like like that person. its just that we miss something about them. their friendship, their niceness, your conversations with them, the things they do. sometimes you miss someone so much its as if we havent seen that person in forever. isnt it funny how you see someone almost everyday, and yet you can still miss that person.
i miss you. i miss talking to you

if you have a problem, solve it. if you think somethings messed up, fix it. if you fucked things up with someone, talk things over. no matter what kind of shit that you get yourself into, get yourself out and fix things with whoever you've hurt along the way. NEVER EVER pretend that nothing is wrong. DONT act as if everythings ok. dont be stupid and think that by ignoring a problem and not fix it long enough it'll just go away by itself and everything will be fine and dandy. dont be so naive. problems never go away by themselves, you gotta be a man and confront it face to face and solve it. pretending it never happened just shows that you;ve got no balls and youre just runing away.

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out'
cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

I WANT AN IPOD TOUCH!! OMG! I WANT AN IPOD TOUCH SO BADLY!!!!!

isnt it funny how someone can get angry at us over the littlest thing and yet we're not allowed to get angry at that person
aint it funny how someone can think that he/she is the king/queen of the world and we all have to cater to their every whim and fancy
isnt it funny how some people can get away with so much and people just dont get angry at them no matter what
aint it funny how you think you think you're gonna become closer to someone and that someone just does something to fuck it all up
isnt it funny how someone can pretend that nothing is wrong when things are actually so damn messed up
aint it funny how people think that my ignoring it long enough, a problem will just go away or solve by itself

when its just one on one, all friendly and really nice and the conversation just flows. in front of a crowd, 180 degree turn and suddenly all bitchy and mean. no more conversations, no more niceness

aint it funny how no matter how nice you are to someone and how much you help that someone out, that person is never nice back
isnt it a barrel of laughs how you're so god damn nice to that person because you want to be good friends again with that person
and aint it just fucking hilarious how you try your utmost to be sweet and friendly to that person and that person is one second nice back and then so damn bitchy to you the next minute and it seems like that person doesnt want your friendship back.

funny how things work out huh? its like you were used, a substitute until someone better comes along and then you're just chucked away. yeah funny how life works out. i guess the world spins like that. i'm laughing my balls off

Throw it away

Forget yesterday

We'll make the great escape

the last days have been spent cramming liek crazy for the end of years which are in a weeks time. and those days reminded me of last year. mugging for the igcse. panicking and shit. trying our best to concentrate and be productive despite alll the distractions. charmaine calling me to talk during study breaks and when we cant seem to concentrate. haha. nostalgia.

went to school for history today. it was good cause i learnt a lot. thanks char-maine for making me go! haha. lunch at BK after with her chang andrew jonwong and woon. then it was off to lido to watch resident evil 3!!! it was actually not bad!! but it was too fast!! the movie should have been longer!! and the ending was su abrupt la!!! omgg! i hope theres a 4th movie coming out!

ive got a new phrase. "cause the world spins like that". cause in life, there are many thing which just happen and we cant really explain it. like the world spinnning. too complicated to explain and shit so we just accept it. like many things in life, we have to accept the world spinning. we cant do anythign about it. we just gotta liek accept the fact and move on with life. no point feeling upset and depressed or stressed, cause ultimately, no matter how hard we try, we cant do anythign about it. life sucks. shit happens. cause the world spins like that

isnt it funny how one person can mean the world to you?
isnt it funnier how that same person can bring your world crashing down?

we lost 4-1. so we have 2 wins 3 losses. fucking horrible. ive never had a losing record before. my third season. and here i thought third times the charm, fuck man. it pisses me off so much. all the pressure and shit,. URGH! i did score though, which means i have8 goals in 5 games. ive scored in every game so far. but dysmal. sighhh ):

anyways. on a good note. ANNABELLE gave me droplets of happiness!! (: awwww!! and it did make me smile!! THANKS SO MUCH!! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!! it really made my day!! hahaha!!:D
also, i did a good deed today!! even though i have to take an econs test on thursday becuase of it, i guess it was worth it. cause it made 2 ppl happy and it was worth it to get that sms at the end. i guess the thing is, we should find happiness in those little things in life. like helping your friends out of a jam and all. we;re so caught up in our own shit that we dont realise how happy people are and that we should be happy for them

It's four o' clock in the fucking morning

Each day gets more and more like the last day

so its actually 3am but close enough. and each day really is getting more and more like the last day. its like we're stuck in this cycle where everyday is so monotonous and routine. you want to break out of the cage and change things or do something different and yet you cant.

so school has been soooo boring its not even funny. but the past week has been like really really really weird. strange. cant really say interesting i guess. but yeah. weirds the only word i can think of to describe it. its like all these weird little drama things happening around and you just hope you dont get caught in it. unless you;'re one of those attention seekers who want to get involved in everthing and shit -_-

so exams are in about 2+ weeks and im in full panic mode now. time to bingxify myself!! crash course econs!! fuckkk

you know there are some people who when they like someone, they start distancing themselves for all their good friends and all jsut to spend more time with those they like. its like they ditch their friends for the one they like. and then when the one they like breaks their heart, they come crawling back to their friends and pretends nothing is wrong and acts as if nothing has changed. i hate those kinds of people.

cause you said no more. but will that ever be true?

this is to you. i dont know if you'll read this. i dont know if you'll know im referring to you. but here goes.
where did it all go wrong? cause everything seemed to be doing so great and then suddenly BOOM! its like in such a short period of time, things just fucked itself up. you know what? sometimes people like to blame others to make themself feel better. but this aint me trying to make myself feel better. cause seriously, i did all i could. its like i was the glue that stuck it altogether and yet maybe i wasnt strong enough. things got fucked up. and back then i thought that maybe it happened for a reason. and that maybe things will be better like that. but you know what. what you did affected more than just me. cause thats the thing about shit just going BOOM and blowing up, more than one person gets affected. and to tell you the truth, i blame you for all the shit happening with me and _____ now. cause yeah. i really do think it was your fault. why? i just want a simple reason. why? cause seriously, its all so fucked up now. and it leads back to you. fuck you.. fuck you

soccer match today. we won 6-2. i scored 2. but doesnt really matter cause i still wont start the next match. hockey tonight. that i get to start. funny how life works sometimes huh. you think you've got something. but you actually dont. sometimes people who dont really deserve it get what you want and what you deserve. no matter how hard you work, or how hard you try, you never get it. cause someone whos doesnt even deserve it, who doesnt even work or try as hard as you gets it. yup/. funny how life works sometimes. fucking hilarious huh. im laughing my balls off

i only had 2 periods of math today. and free all the way. im getting so sick of free periods. its so damn boring. but thank god char-maine and chang are theere to entertain me. although chang might not be there after awhile! HAHAHA! sheryl and i ordered kfc cause we had this huge craving for it! haha. it was delicious!!!

well liar. funny how things can change so fast just like that huh. i mean like, within a short period of time, things just change. but i guess people change? or is it that i just didnt see the real you from the start? hmm. well liar, i feel so used. like a substitute, cause thats all i was huh. well. now you;re acting like that. all i can say is, 2 can play at that game. do unto others what you want people do to unto you. you wanna be a bitch/bastard to me? well then, its on like donkey kong.

i need a muse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want a muse!!!!!!!!!!!

Marcus Eng

10 March 1990
19
ACS International
Ice Hockey

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