i'm lost and i'm so confused. everything's going trough my head at a speed of 100 miles per hour. i want to slow it all down but i dont know how. heck, i dont even know whats going on. its like everything gets thrown at you and you don't know how to sort through all of it. whats true? whats not? how do you sort the lies from the truth? how do you know who's telling the truth? my minds a mess right now and i dont know what to do. i wish things could be so much simpler. i wish things could just sort themselves out. i wish it were that easy

i fell too hard too fast and i dont know how to stop falling

and just like that, WHOOSH! another week of school has blown by. wow. time sure does fly

today= tiring, stressful, painful, frustrating.. and yet, in the end, it was all worth it!! :D today= semi happy day

sooo.. i sprained my ankle quite badly during hockey training yesterday. -_- thanks for the cruthces chang! youre my tau sa pau! so yeah. you know everytime you see people on crutcges and you think to yourself, "hey. looks quite cool and quite fun to use crutches". well, nope. not fun. not cool whatsoever. its tiring and its slow and it takes you forever to get from point A to point B. but THANK YOU everyone who were concerned and helped me carry my bag and whatever!! (:

karma. what goes around comes around.. like earlier this week i kept teasing char-maine about being a bai kar and how if i ever got injured she has to carry my bag for me.. and then lo and behold, now im the bai kar -_-.. its like both me and charmine have bandaged leg. her right leg my left leg. wah.. really bestfriends.. today during lunch.. our OG, TOY SOLDIERS, visited us.. its like we're the handicapped crippled table. haha. it was hilarious.. tara was like falling asleep on my crutches.. denise was like all emo and sad cause she got attacked by a rubberband.. tessa was being.. tessa. and zhenli. omgggg. its like you cn never have a dull day with her around. she and her FEMALE issues.. first she says "eh i cant sit like that. very uncomfortable. i having my period now! you know just now i carrying my pad around" HAHAHA and then she said "no la no need to lose weight.. all my weight is here!! " *grabs her own boobs* HAAHAHA!! i love my OG!! TOY SOLDIERS!! :D

ok. so theres this anon tagging my tagboard. suddenly my tagboard has so much writing, wow i feel honoured. NOT. eh anon,.. how about you either A) tell me your name or B)stop writing really random things on my tagboard and insulting my friends. thank you. have a nice day

i really really really dont like mondays. double physics double english double chinese TRIPPLE math. like omg. could it get any worse.. on the brighter side, council was alright today. a bit draggy towards the end but generall alright. i saw kathi for a bit after!! :D with her funky new hair do! BB! PAL!!! new year resolutions!!! hockey at 10 30 tonight. omg -_- which means im gonna be back home at 12 30. oh wow. crazy huh

OMG JUNHUNG , BRIANTOH!! YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS!! I DONT ___________ ANYMORE LA!! OMG THAT WAS LIKE HOW LONG AGO LA!! WTHH!! I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOU GUYS STILL THINK THAT!! HAHA! DONT BRING UP THE PAST LA!! ITS SO LONG AGO!! MOVED ON LIKE HOW LONG AGO LA!! IDIOTS! HAHA

my BAI KAR bestfriend!!! bring a lighter bag tomorrow leh!!

oh boy oh boy. everytime i look at you, i feel so disgusted. everytime i see you, i just wanna hit you. boy i hate you so much. boy if only you'd leave

your lipstick, his collar,
dont bother angel.
i know exactly what goes on

THANK YOU SHERYL AWE FOR MAKING THE PICTURE THAT IS NOW MY BLOGSKIN!

THANK YOU CAL FOR MAKING IT MY BLOGSKIN!!

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out'
cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

sadness, anguish and regret are my friends.
naivity and stupidity are my soulmates.
false bravado and recklessness are always there for me.
failure is my life.

i'm lost. and all i wanna do is make sense of it all and find out whats going on. i want to know what you're thinking
help me out here cause i'm lost and i dont know what to do

i'd just cry if this turned out to be like before

oh boy, i hate you so much. first chance i get, i'm bringing you down

you were the one that stole it

thank you CHARMAINE SHERYL CHANG JOSHUA CHLOE ROSA TARA DENISE SIZE and MINGZHI for coming down to watch our match and support us! sorry we couldnt win!!

so yeah. we lost to greenridge! URGHH! very very frustrating. yeahh. then OG lunch at brekkos and then dessert at COLD ROCK! I <3 COLD ROCK! then people slowly had to go off one by one. while i had to wait for my cousins and brother to reach town so i was sitting at cold rock with tara denise and size.. it was funny.. then shared cab with denise and i dropped off at town to meet priss nat and cal to go CNY shopping.., OMGGG!! my legs were aching and cramping up! we walked so much!!! from heerens to wisma to far east to wheelock to lido. omgoodnes gracious me. but i had KFC! today was alright i guess. learned a bit here and there. im still lost. but oh well.
OH! THANK YOU NAT!! HAHAHAHA!! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!! :D :D :D

you lie too

what a tangled web you weave, as you lie and you deceive.

the world is full of liars. everyone lies no matter what. some lies are harmless while others just ruin everything. so what can you do? sometimes people tell lies about you and the thing is, you cant do anything about it. lies that paint a bad picture about you. lies that make you someone you're not. the thing is, you can never really believe the things that someone tells you about other people cause you never know its true. we all know that and yet its so hard to not believe the first thing they say. sighh

if you only knew how much i hate you now. lying piece of shit

PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES

yesterday was a really really good day and i was really really happy.
the thing about this kind of happiness is that its usually short lived and one day of real happiness is usually followed by a few days of nothing or sadness. and its like, is it really worth it? one day of pure bliss cause something good happened. maybe its even something great. and youre so happy and shit until the next day just lets you down and just brings your mood come crashing down. the thing is, the higher your hopes the farther you fall. 1 day happines 3 days sadness. wah sehh

took bus home with anna today.. havent talked to her in like ages! and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE PRESENT!! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!! :D so yeah. funny journey home..

school was alright. interesting i guess. i had 6 free periods today. wtf! kinda boring.. today was interesting as a whole, i found out a lot of shit. but hey thats life. shit happens. but yeah. weird

and of all people its you. oh dear lord. i bet you told.. i hate you

Oh pretty girl in the crowd,
"oh pretty girl" i shout out loud.
Oh pretty girl by a mile,
oh pretty girl you make me smile.
Oh pretty girl, you leave me in a rut,
oh pretty girl you break my heart.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VERA TAY SHUMEI! anyway, today was a not bad day. i would even go as far to say it was a GOOD day. haha. (: so yeah. very very free day tomorrow. with 6 FREE PERIODS from 11:10 all the way till school ends. omg. i think my left leg is kinda messed up now.. oh wells.. i cant wait for saturday. THANK YOU ANANYA FOR THE CARD! IT WAS REALLY REALLY SWEET! (:

yes ive got a new blogskin. yes i know its not really nice. BUT. i dont have a choice cause the one i usually have isnt working and all people see is a big white page! URGHHH. so yeah. temporary blogskin until someone is kind enough to do one for me!! :D

so anyhow. soccer practice today. omg.. my calf hurts like hell. and i can barely walk. AND. i got a hockey match in and hour and a half. OMGGGGG! HOWWW. i need pain killer injections!! SIGHHH!!! i guess after hockey im gonna be hobbling more! so i guess tomorrow im gonna be limping with my bestfriend!! (:

its like january 13th.. and im gonna do a review of 2007. yes i know. its very very late. but i was really really busy with orientation and all that good stuff. but hey, better late than never!

2007. i dont know. i started out the year with lofty expectations. and i guess i learnt the hard way that the higher your hopes, the farther they fall. about halfway through the year, i thought to myself "holy shit, 2007 has sucked so badly" and it did. it really really did. but the thing is, when things are going so badly, the only place to go is up. and i guess, it did. things got better. all in all, 2007 was different. not that bad, but not good either. it was just really really different. a learning experience i guess. i learnt a lot about myself, and about other people, about my friends, and about people who i thought were my friends. i gained a lot, i lost a lot. but hey, thats life, nothing you can do about it. people always leave. after 12 months, i still stand by that. life sucks, shit happens, i still stand by that too. its been a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs. i learnt that you can predict whats gonna happen, but most of the time, it never comes true. life is full of surprises, so unpredictable you never know what hits you untill it slams right into your face. i guess ive learnt that we gotta accept things for what they are, and that trying your hardest to change them just fucks things up even more. so i guess lets sit back, relax and watch 2008 unfold.

HERES TO ALL OF YOU WHO HELPED DEFINE 2007!!

ANANYA- WE COME IN PEACE!! thank you ananya for always making me laugh no matter what!! ill always remember national day at donno what stadium at 6am creeping out all the acs independednt people!! EVERYBODY COME AND JOIN THE PARTY!! and omg! ONE TREE HILL SEASON 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

ANNABELLE- sexay! haha. omg the year passed by so fast huh. and so many things have happened. our emo talks, emo walks, emo macdonalds, emo cab rides home, conversations from 12-4am in the exco room while i attempted to study for my econs retest. haha. its been fun. we had fun huh. its been a funny funny year, and like, you made me look at life in a totally different way!

BINGXI- isnt it funny how about a year ago, you hated my guts, i wanted you out of the school. funny how life changes huh. but hey, im glad we became friends! youve helped me out on so many occasions and i really appreciate that. this year is your year! you started it out perfectly by being an awesom camp COMMANDER not commandent. and you're gonna end it with 45 points. GO BE PERFECT BINGXI!

BRIANTOH- ROBINN!! hey man, you're the best sidekick and best dance partner ever!! omg i miss VIVA LA FIESTA! its like we've been in the same school for like 3 years now and we didnt really talk till the end of last year, but im glad i started talking to you. you're awesome dude! and im always here to hear you out! and that message you sent me was one of the sweetest messages ever!! AWWWW!!!

CHANG- wah chang. you're a whore man. HAHAHA. but thanks for being such a good friend and always irritating me non stop! stupid piece of shit! haha. but no la! im glad im friends with you. and i cant believe youre 18 already! time to grow up chang! AND GROW TALLER!! :D

CHAR-MAINE- eh brooooo! ok i dont know where to start! you're like the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for and im so glad youre my bestfriend! well bro, another year has passed and it was really weird huh. and eventful. but hey, another eventful year ahead! thanks for everything k! i could go on and on but ive probably said the same things over and over again! thank you for everything char-maine!!! youre the best!! :D BFFL! breast fliends forever la!!!!!

CHLOE- PARK IN YOUNG! you're my favourite korean! HAHAHAHA. ok la. lame. omg park, stop speaking korean! ME NO SPEAKING ENGLISH!!

FELINE+CANNON- ok you 2 are just gonna be stuck together. HAHA! YOU 2 SHOW ME WHAT TRUE LOVE IS! AWWWWWWWWW!!! haha. omg feline. orientation exco would not be the same without you! hahaha.

JEROME- CAPTAINN! haha. eh own goal king. youre a great soccer captain. and a great LAST MAN! dont go be extra and try to steal my posittion la!

JOHNNY- JOHNNY!! haha. hey man, you're a great friend and i dont know what the year would be like without you and shit. CAN YOU AND SHUMEI PLEASE COME TO ASSEMBLY EARLY SO I DONT HAVE TO SIT ALONE!! haha. you and shumei are hands down the funniest couple ever!!

JOSHUA- eh racist boy!! wah lau! pang seh friends for girl!! TSK! but its ok la. I FORGIVE YOU! cause im a nice guy! haha. joshua. thanks for always being there man. like we got closer in chiangmai and like now i can trust you with my shit and all. and you're frikking hilarious with the shit you say! HAHAHAHA!

JUNHUNG- eh junhung. when i first met you, you were this shy happy little boy in council. now you're a not so shy EMO bigshit VICE CAMP COMMANDER! HAHAHAHA. wah seh. look how the year has changed you. but you know what, im real glad i got to know you. cause talkign to you is a real eye opening experience and youre damn retarded sometimes. and stop being so emo!! dont try to be like me la! HAHAHA

KATHI+KRISTI- OMG I STILL CANT BELIEVE YOU GUYS JUST PACKED UP AND WENT TO MELBOURNE LEAVING ALL OF BEHIND!! YOU KNOW I WAS SOOO DEPRESSED!!! ): but hey, we still remained good friends and you guys gave me the best surprise ever!! aww! YOU 2 WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVOURTE SET OF TWINS!! (:

LIAN- LIAN AR LIAN!! my eastwood uppereast coast road, bedok army camp buddy! you're my inspiration lian! i must be like you!! or so my father says la! HAHA. i cant believe youre not in school anymore! SO WEIRD! but hey, you live 5 mins away! so im gonna come visit one day! ENJOY ARMY LIAN!

MENNON- wtf man mennon! i still cant believe you ditched ALL OF US and went to SJI. WTF MAN!! haha. but its ok la menon we still love you!! COME BACK when you realise we're si much better than SJI!

MICH- BOAT BUDDY!!! omg.. i still owe you a boat! and you will get it soon k!! I PROMISE!! and you technically owe me a meal! :D but im not gonna take it la!! ahah.i cant believe 2007 turned out the way it did huh. so weird!! and unexpected huh.. but hey. 2008 looks like its gonna be sooo much better!

PRISS- eh cousinnnn!! aiya.. donno what to say la. but ENG's are the best!! hands down! thanks for everything priss! im so glad youre in my school! :D

SHERYL- LAOPOOO!!! haha. omg sheryl! youre like one of my closest friends now. and youre the funniest girl ever! HAHAHA. you never fail to cheer me up and make me smile with your nonsense!! im so glad youre my friend! HAHAHA.

SHUMEI- VERAA!! haha omg. im stuck with you with so many of my classes. HOLY CRAP! but good la. you never fail to entertain me!! haha shumei!! i cant believe its been a year since i met you! the girl wtih her blouse unbuttoned and the REALLY LOUD CRAZY MANIAC laughter!! haha. the year has brought a lot huh!!

SWETA- SWETAAAA!!! my favourite indian!! haha omg sweta! your blurness never fails to make me laugh!! youre hilarious sweta! and youre a really great friend too!! (:

TABBY- TABITHA BOON!! PALM TREES! omg you inspire me la!!

THANAPHON- KUIII!! wo yao wo de xing xing! ai shi jia de. when the value of money goes up, the value of people goes down!

WAIKIT- malaysia! haha. eh your soccer is like so good but you're like soooo lazy la! TSK TSK! bastard sia! pang seh us during match! Hahah. TORRESS!!!

WOON- PADAWOON!! omg you know i saw that gravestone with "PADAWOON" on it not long ago lying in the canteen. anyhow. woon!! milk/honeydew boy! omg. youre like the onyl first person who has a good first impression of me!! tahnk you! HAHA

ok. i hope i havent left anyone out. if i have/ TELL ME SO I CAN GO WRITE A THANK YOU TO YOU! ok. that took SO LONG TO TYPE! anyhow. school tmr. hopefully its gonna be a better week. and hockeys starting. tmr night and tueday night. soccer match on saturday. holy crap.

i'm both mentally and physically exhausted.. soccer training at 8 30am today was a killer. the last few days have been really really draining and really boring. a week of school has passed and i dont know, it hasnt really been all that great. but hey, there's always next week to suck even more.

hockeys starting next week. thank god for that.

GET WELL SOON BROOO!! TAKE CARE OF YOUR ANKLE!!! AND YOU'RE NOT A USELESS CRIPPLE!!! (:

sometimes all we can do its sit, wait and watch everything unfold. no matter how much things suck, and no matter how much things are hurting you, you cant do anything except sit and watch somemore. yeah it hurts, yeah its gonna continue hurting, but what can you do about it? nothing

i put a smile on my face so you wouldnt know what happened
i plaster a smile on my face so you'd think everything was alright

ok. like what the hell

OMFG! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! CANT YOU SEE WHATS HAPPENING!! HOLY SHITT!!!! AARGGHHH!!!! BLIND AND STUPID!! i have nothing to say.

and the pain you once felt suddenly rushes back. thats nostalgia i dont need. its something i dont wanna feel again. and yet there it is.

whats the point of liking someone if all it brings is heartbreak pain and anguish? embarassment and sorrow follows suit.

i give up. i'm done. i'm through. i'm walking away.
and yet when it all fucks up, i'm the one standing there after the dust settles catching you when you fall

i'm so sick of it all

i give up. i'm through

i'm so sick of losing

i really want to blog about everything that happened during orientation but i have a 4000 word essay draft due friday so the blogging has to wait. but i will do it! cause i have to do it for CAS anyways. so anyhow.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLEN CHANG!! OMG I CANT BELIEVE YOURE 18 ALREADY!!!! START ACTING YOUR AGE!! :D

AND... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NIC!! MY LIPS WORSHIP YOU! YOUR LOVE IS LARGER THAN MY LIFE!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

so my legs are aching like crazy cause of soccer training which wasnt really soccer as much as run non stop until the first person collapses. oh dear lord. anyhow, ive been really really tired the last few days. i have no idea why.

so schools started and i dont know. it hasnt really lived up to my expectations. i dont really know how to explain it and i probably am not really making sense but i dont know, school hasnt been what i expected it to be. its like im waiting for something good to happen and it just aint happening. oh wells. its been pretty boring besides the fact that i dont really like my new teachers. other than that nothing much. canteen too crowded, school hours still too long, bingxi finding his soul partner whos like the perfect match for him :D, shumei and ellen still lesbians, same ol stuff i guess which basically means, life still sucking, shit still happening, people still leaving. OH WELL. hopefully better days will come. i had this really sad post but its changs birthday and i promised her.

firstly, I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! THEY GOT ME AN IPOD TOUCH FOR CHRISTMAS AND WE ALL KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE ONE IS! THANK YOU CHAR-MAINE, PRISS, CAL, JUNHUNG, SWETA, JOHNNY, SHUMEI, JONHO, JOSHUA, WOON, BINGXI, MICH AND SHERYL ELLEN. YOU GUYS DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY YOU MADE ME. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!! (:

sooo.. orientations all over ): i had a lot a lot of fun. liek honestly, i think it was one of the most fun things i have ever done in my life. im physically mentally and emotionally exhausted. but hey, it was all worth it. every last second. and i'd do it all over again

orientation would not as fun if i did not have my bestfriend as my OGL partner. thank you char-maine for being the best OGL partner ever! thank you for looking after the group when i was running around doing other stuff. thank you for being so enthu. and than you for putting up with all my nonsense!!!! you're the best bro!
and also, i think i speak on behalf of charmaine when i say that we had the best assistant anyone could have. thank you clarisse for everything!! for helping both us out all the time. for doing all the dirty work. for being so enthu abt everything and always sitting with our OG and talking to them even though they're 3 years older! thank you to both of you!!! you guys were awesome!

thank you EXCO!!! anna tabby junhung feline mich and of course bingxi.omg! im gonna miss exco meetingss!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe we did it!! we pulled it off. and after the dust has settled, id say we did one hell of a job.. you guys are great. no matter how much crap we had to encounter, all the obstacles, we pulled through and we delivered! (:

thank you OGL's! all of you! NATIVES and PILGRIMS! sweta daphne charmaine james cannon rosa jeus qi eunice chloe evan alison briantoh emily duncan chang saysern nic ananya andrew steph priss rachel and iekka. you guys were fantastic! you guys were so enthu all the times. screaming and yelling and dacing like there was no tomorrow. it was sooo fun and you guys made it so fun! thank you for being such great OGLs, for listening and for tolerating all of us exco. i know we especially me, got damn annoying, but we thank all of you!!! we did it! (:

thank you assisants!! sheryl joshua jerome woon shumei johnny lian clarisse leanne katerina clarisse dulcena desiree pattrick chloe kui zongxi and zongye. you guys are the best! thank you for doing all the dirty work and not complaining! and not saying no!! without you. nothing would be possible!! (:

and thank you TOY SOLDIERS! size jonathan zhenli tessa denise tara althea mingzhi gideon ken rachael georgina you guys were hands down the best OG group there! your performance was awesome!! you guys really did me proud! honest to goodness! thank you for being such a good OG and being enthu and making me laugh all the time! you guys are the best!! you guys made orientation so much more fun and i thank you for that!!! even though you guys did get shit poured on me -_- oh and i forgot to get all you guys' contacts.. but oh wellsss.. WE ARE TOY SOLDIERS!! (:





the way you make me smile.. unbelieveable

OMG I CANT BELIEVE ORIENTATION IS OVER!! IT PASSED BY TOO QUICKLY! SIGHHH! ): ): ): I REALLY ENJOYED IT!! AND NOT JUST BECAUSE............

anyhow. TOY SOLIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BEST OG GROUP EVER!!!!