Tuesday, June 30, 2009 @ 12:48 AM
passing trends. things that interest us for small periods of time, maybe due to its beauty or how it keeps us interested or some say its the inside that enthralls us. but passing trends are called passing trends for a reason, before you know it, it passes. and thats the beauty of it, it just passes. feelings sometimes are just basically larger scale passing trends.
sheryls coming back earlier than expected. im excited for that. kui should be coming back soon, im excited for that. but then again, everyones leaving. i used to say people always leave. and its funnty how i could keep on saying it and repeating it but until now, i never could believe. people always leave, how come its the one thats closest to our hearts that dont come back.
i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i really really do.
but you dont really notice huh? you dont actually care?
forever doesnt mean anything
i think i've found the rainbow within the dark gloomy skys. the single ray of light through the stormy clouds. the solitary smile in the sea of frowns
Sunday, June 28, 2009 @ 8:18 PM
trapped in some damn prison with no escape whatsoever. stuck. trapped.
i miss the times where we could talk about anything and we'd talk about everything.
i miss you. i just wish for a simple phone call.
here i am like some pathetic loser.
change. change. change. sometimes we just dread change. avoid it like the plague. other times we're just yearning for it, wishing it'd come by faster
its 5:55am now. i got home at about 4 45am. celebrated johnnys birthday. it was alright. good time with friends i guess. today has been quite a weird day. up down. weird would be the word i'd use to describe today. so yes. weird day today. its sunday already. 14 more hours till time to book in. sian.
i've been thikning alot over this weekend. sometimes thikning too much is a bad thing. leads to unnecessary paranoia or jumping to false conclusions. yet it can be a good thing, helps you learnthings, helps you realise things. i've been thinking a lot. i'm not too sure if its a bad or a good thing
i need something or someone to help get me through the week. i need something to make me to look forward to the weekend. i need motivation to help me make the days past. i've got nothing now. everyday just comes and passes like one dull sick routine. i need change.
Saturday, June 27, 2009 @ 11:45 AM
maybe sometimes in life, somethings are better left unsaid. somethings are better off kept a secret and never said out.
Don't believe everything happiness says
Nothing feels better than hiding these days
We bury our fears in the drinks, in these tears
For the days we believed we could fly
So why don't you meet me, down behind the old school
We'll waste away the weekend, with perfect regard for how
Cavalier we used to be, that beautiful insanity
The apathy's surrounding me
Don't close your eyes or we'll fade away
we're left reminiscing about the past, remembering all the good times we used to have and the good days we used to share but bitterly realizing that they're all just distant memories, easy to retrieve but difficult to relive.
saturday 27th june. weeks are passing and passing with no importance and no significance. i need something to happen. something important or significant to come by. instead of days passing by meaninglessly, i want something to happen. or at least have something to look forward to. i want the days to have more meaning. i want something to get me through the week.
i've thought about a lot a lot of things yesterday and this morning. and i've realised a bunch of stuff. maybe sheryl is right. theres no point being the nice guy all the time when you just get trampled on and taken advantage of. and i've learnt how somethings are just by name. they dont really mean anything. jsut by name. daffy told me taht quite awhile ago but i never believed that until yesterday. isnt it funny how people can tell you something but you never believe it or want to believe it until something has to happen to you, usually a bad event, and then it hits you, "hmm yeah. i guess it is true"
i miss the times where we'd talk about anything and everything
Friday, June 26, 2009 @ 11:02 PM
they say that nice guys finish last. and yeah, its kinda true. too nice and people just step all over you knowing they'll get away with it cause you wont say anything or fight back. be too nice and helpful and people take advantage and always ask you to do stuff for them cause they know you wont say no. too nice and people arent scared to piss you off cause they know you'll forgive them after one sorry. so in the end, whats the point of being nice? accomplishes nothing. achieves nothing. they say nice guys finish last. maybe there is some truth in that after all. no point being the nice guy all the time. no point the sucker
one day, you'll reach the limit on the number of sorrys and maybe i'll reach the limit of the number of its oks.
Sunday, June 21, 2009 @ 5:59 PM
i've been in camp for 10 hours already but it feels like its been mroe than 24 hours! time is passing by SUPER slowly. like crawling at a SNAILS PACE! ive been just rotting away here doing absolutely nothing! sighh. i hate sunday duties! super depressing and boring! i should be home now! but what to do. on a separate note. my legs still kinda swollen but im in camp already so i cant go see the doctor. hmmm. oh wells. hopefully it gets 100% healed so i dont have to go for surgery which really is a big waste of time and shit.
i finally got to hang out with annabelle last night! went for dinner and shisha after. it was good to FINALLY hang out with her cause SOME PEOPLE are ALWAYS DAMN BUSY TRAVELLING THE WORLD AND STUFF. but yes. we just talked and hung out and talked about anything under the sun. it was fun cause we got to catch up and gossip and complain whine bitch all in a few hours. haha. gosh i missed her. and like she said, we havent talked in a long time so it was good to finall y have the oppurtunity too(:
i cant wait for the the weekend even though this weekend hasnt even finished yet. and i predict a really slow week ahead. SIGHHH!! SOMEONE INVENT A TIME MACHINE PLEASE!
i happen to thnk kaya scodelario is the HOTTEST and PRETTIEST ever!
Friday, June 19, 2009 @ 11:06 PM
i came here to make you dance tonight
i don't care about my guilty pleasure for you
and i don't even know
what kinda fool you're taking me for
i'm very extremely bored now. i've been doing absolutely nothing today. oh wells. what to do right. i predict another boring day tomorrow with nothing on except tuition. and then its back to camp sunday morning. siann.
sometimes we sit down and thing about things and we think to ourselves, whats the point of trying to be so helpful all the time? we try our utmost best, sacrificing things along the way to make people happy or try our best to help them out and ultimately, whats the point of it all? some of these people show no gratitude at all. its like we owe them something. really pisses me off sometimes. but thats life right. ungrateful people everywhere, never saying thank you. so i guess sometimes we ask ourselves, why do we keep helping them then? the simple answer would be, cause they're our friends. then you ask yourself, they're our friends, but are we their friends? do they help us out in times of our need?
there'll always be this one person who'll never fail to make everything seem alright
Thursday, June 18, 2009 @ 3:43 PM
sometimes we're so caught up in our problems we don't stop and thank those that've helped us. understandable.
but maybe sometimes we should stop wallowing in self pity, stop emoing in one corner, and maybe thank people who've helped us or maybe even ask them if you can help them in any way.
i never fail to listen to all your problems and i always try my best to help you out and cheer you up. but sometimes do you ever stop to ask me whether i've got any problems of my own and if i wanted you to listen or not?
dont know what youre made of
sometimes its not about daring to dream the impossible and being able to chase the impossible. sometimes its about being smart enough to give up on the impossible
Tuesday, June 16, 2009 @ 11:31 PM
i gotta stop chasing these stupid impossible dreams. i gotta stop getting my hopes up for the effing impossible dreams. i gotta get it through my thick head that i should just GIVE UP ALREADY
so if im always willing to listen to anyone then......................... what does that make me?
whens my turn to rant?
why does the court jester care so much about everyone? just cause its his job? so what? quit. why cant the court jester jsut quit. why cant he escape? why cant he seem to catch a break? he listens and listens and tries to make the whole damn world happy. and yet when he's sad, he's down, no one really gives a shit. he's just left there, in one corner until he's needed again. why cant anyone make the court jester smile when he's sad? why cant anyone try to cheer him up?
i've listened. i've helped. i tried. but in the end, whats the point?
used to it
DAFFY! I KNOW YOURE GONNA BE READING THIS BUT EH! BLOGGER DELETED MY POST FOR YOU LEH! HOW?!?!? ): NOT MY FAULT! REALLY HAD ONE LONG POST ABOUT YOU AND ALL LOR! SIGHHHH I HATE BLOGGER!!! NOT MY FAULT K! I REALLY DID WRITE SO DONT ANYHOW BLAME ME!!!!! ANYWAYS I ALREADY READ EVERYTHING OUT TO YOU ALREADY! (: TONY AND LONY THE PONIES ARE OFF TO NEVERNEVERLAND TO MEET THEIR FRIEND PETER PAN! (: AND DUDE! UNICORNS DO HAVE WINGS!
Monday, June 15, 2009 @ 9:30 PM
we all have different traits. maybe traits isnt the right word im looking for cause traits is waht we're born with i guess. we all possess different qualities. nah not right either cause people usually take quality as a positive thing. we all develop different characteristics as we grow up. yes, thats the word. characteristics. things or actions that make us all distinctive. these characteristics are either good or bad and some are obviously positive while others are quite obviously negative characteristicss. for example, being too selfish is obviously a negative characteristic while being selfless is an obiously positive one. so how do draw the line on those charateristics that we possess that arent so black and white on being good or bad. hard to tell if its good or bad cause a lot of people can say "ohh you know, you have this thing abotu you where blah blah blah blah blkah. and i think its really good" but maybe to you, its negative cuase of wahtever reason? i dont know. i think im not really making any sense and i just typed out a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo. pfft..
on a side note. ive been sick the past few days. and my surgery scar from last year is suddenly swollen and red which is never a good sign. SIGHHHHHHHH. this is bad. nightmare from last year all over again
my boats sinking
Saturday, June 13, 2009 @ 1:30 AM
someone wise once told me "Sometimes we wanna cling onto things until it really lets go and slaps us in the face"
how do we know when its time for us to let go? how do we do know when we should just move on with everything? is there ever a good time to let go? sometimes we let go of things to prove to ourself that they will come back. so what happens when they dont? how do we not regret letting go?
i have this belief that our life will find balance. waht i mean is that in a day, when something really good happens to us, later in the day something bad will happen to balance things out. or if we're unlucky and experience a shitty day, the next day will be a much better day. sometimes we get so happy about the things that happen to us and its quite sad how something just comes along and screws everything up just like that.
what i thought was my strength has turned out to be my weakness
Sunday, June 07, 2009 @ 10:46 AM
yet another sunday. hung out with andrew and joshua really late last night. and after joshua left, while walking the 45 mins journry to one fullerton, i had this really good heart to heart talk with andrew that ive been wanting to talk to someone about. like been wanting to spill all that and im really grateful that andrew was there to just hear all my shit and all cause it was a real load off my chest so thank you andrew.
andrew really shed light on a lot of thigns last night. and maybe i should take a page out of his book. learn from him and jsut heck care everything. maybe he's right, maybe i do care too much. maybe i really am just too big of a sucker and that once in awhile i gotta just not care stuff. ,maybe i got to learn not to be so dependent and i gotta learn that people do change a lot. i gotta learn that things that i had in school is gonna change a lot and that maybe i wont have that anymore. things change people change friendships change. andrew opened up my eyes last night and made me realise things that maybe i didnt want to ever realise. so maybe i should just take his advice. i want to. but im scared. im scared to lose things so dear to me.
they say that if someone means a lot to you, you shouldnt be scared to let it go cause if you mean a lot to them, theyd come back. but im scared cause i dont know how much i mean. im scared if i let go, it wont come back.
Saturday, June 06, 2009 @ 10:49 AM
dont wanna be a goody bag at your pity party
just a standby plan
Monday, June 01, 2009 @ 10:53 PM
You know what you want but how long can you wait
What if your chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
to fight and never walk away
I fought to the end to stand on the edge
What if today is as good it gets
Don’t know where the future’s headed
You’ll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane
To get to that one thing
maybe sometimes in life, somethings are better left unsaid. somethings are better off kept a secret and never said out.
OMGGG. I AM IN LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE..............