seeing through excuses like seeing through water. seeing through bullshit like seeing through air.
sometimes we wonder who our real friends are. sometimes we wonder whos gonna be there for us when we need them. sometimes we wonder whos the real friend and whos the hi bye friend. sometimes we wonder whos the true friend and who are the fair weather friends.

i think transformers was not that bad only because megan fox was so damn hot.

i've learnt to take everything you said with a pinch of salt.

i wanted to post a picture of sarah roemer but for some reason my blogger doesnt have the insert picture function. waking up in vegas is stuck in my head. katy perry is really pretty. i really wanna go to vegas now. cause of her song and cause i watched 21 yesterday.

crap crap crap bullshit bullshit bullshit. some people are full of crap. some people are full of bullshit. and some people are full of both
but sooner or later we know who these people are, and then we're able to take the things they tell us with a pinch of salt. we stop believing them most of the time and we literally take "seeing is to believing" to be true. when they tell us something, we just say "ok. erm sure,. yup fine." as if we believe them, but in actual fact, whats there to believe? cause they dont give us the confidence to believe in the things they say

so the really short trip to KL is over. went by too fast if you ask me. wished it was a few days over there, a few days away from here. a few more days of hockey. hockey was great. just being on the ice again, forgetting everything except where the puck is, where the net is, where your teammates and opponents are. thats the great thing about hockey, it gets your mind off all your problems and shit for the hour or so youre on the ice. great feeling and i wish i had hockey every week like i used to. my bodys aching and i kinda twisted my knee a bit again but i say it was worth it. god i love this sport

i think sarah roemer has this really unique look.

gonna remove my wisdom teeth tomorrow. kinda scared cause i have this huge ass fear of needles and i heard the injection tomorrow is what hurts the most. oh wells. on a side note, sheryls coming back in a few hours time!

1 second of hope and happiness that fades away into nothing

Just don't forget to
Think about me
And I won't forget you
"I'll write you once a week", she said

And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off

i'd say its been a pretty good last 3 days. in a nutshell, i went to have dinner with my favourite set of twins yesterday along with kui and chang. and then the 5 of us went to hang out at bugis and just chillled there till about 5 plus. gosh im gonna miss my BB and pal when they go back to sydney. had brunch with char-maine today and then was in school for a bit. off to KL tmr, cant wait. and i just finished wathivng vcantage point and fired up. vantage point: one of the best movies ever, full of suspense and plot twists. then theres fired up which is like a cheerleader version of american pie. and its funny as hell! and sarah roemer danielle harris are so hot!

so yesterday, kathi and kristi were pointing out to me that ever since they knew me in year 3 which was 4 years ago, i kept insisitign that the present year sucked and that the previous year was so much better and i just cnat wait for the next year. and i realised how true that is. like in year 5, i hated that year and missed year 4 and i longed for year 6 to come. and then in year 6, i reaised how crappy everything was so i longed for year 5 and wished for graduation to come. its like a never ending cycle. and i guess thikning about what those 2 were telling me, im never satisfied with what i have. i keep looking for more more more and i never enjoy the moments that i have. one things fro sure though, i hate 2009 and im gonna hate 2010. BUT, im gonna love 2011. mark my words, 2011 is gonna be great. but yeah, maybe i do need ti change my mentality and all. maybe i do need to start thikning differently. live life and enjoy life. i guess sometimes we jsut need to stop thikning too much and just do what we want.
" life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

so its another 2 more days and its off to KL. so even though im only there for like a little over a day, i cant wait. get out of this place for a bit and do the one thing that i love, the one thing that seriously gets all my troubles off my mind for awhile.

so went to ion orchard yesterday. fascinating. kui slept over. gonna meet him soon. then gonna meet the twins later tongiht. gonna meet my bestfriend tomorrow morning and then i dont thikn i have plans for the rest of tomorrow. and i know youre gonna read this eventually char-maine! YOU OWE ME! HAHAHA! (: (: so yes. its been a good week and all. and sheryls coming back!

dealing with everythign thats getting thrown my way. i am a court jester. i'm just gonna smile and laugh. how do you know if a smile is real or fake? i wonder

a not so startling revelation made not so long ago. attached friends are really really different from unattached friends

heres the thing about mistakes, sometimes even though you know its a mistake, you gotta make it anyways

"Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? if so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back."

we always want back lost opportunities, those moments in our lives where we wish we had done differently. those times that we regret waht we did. we all want those days back, a chance to make ammends, an opportunity to do something different and change our lives. but the sad thing is, its all in the past. and whats past is past. no way to go back in time and change waht we did. no second chances and waht we missed. we cant change the past, but the past changes us.we cant go back and rectify our mistakes, or do something we had passed. all we can do is pray we do things differentlyy in the future.

I'm in the business of misery,
Let's take it from the top.
She's got a body like an hourglass it's ticking like a clock.
It's a matter of time before we all run out,

the long weekends over. but im hoping this week passes by fast this week. NE tour on friday so at least i get out of camp. i cant wait for the 25th. i dont know if im excited cause i havent played hockey in almost 4 months and i finally get to pick up my stick again or is it that i get to get out of the country for awhile which im quite excited to do. i think its a combination of both

when you asked me, i panicked and i said something like its complicated or something. but thats not true. its not really all that complicated. its quite simple in fact. and if you asked me again, i'd tell you its simple and i'd tell you the truth. i know i can't wish to turn back the clock so i could answer that differently. but i can wish that you'd ask me that question again so i can tell the truth this time.

we all dare to dream of the impossible. but do we dare chase those dreams?
we all dream of fighting the losing battles. but do we dare fight on after we know we've lost?
we all know what we want. but do we dare do everything we can to get it?

how do i compete?

i'm glad to be home. you know camp wouldnt be all that bad if i didnt have so much crap to do everyday. wait who i am kidding, it would be crap. but i've made some good friends there so it aint all that bad. so another week has more or less passed. another pay day is here. another weekend. lunch at holland with the twins andrew lian mich and ellen tmr . i have no other plans yet but i need to make some cause i dont wanna waste another weekend. and i have yet to watch transformers but it seems like everyone has already watched it.

i think its hit me. maybe its been always right there in front of me and maybe i justt never wanted to notice it or never wanted to accept it. but i guess the past few days, slowly but surely im slowly realising it. its not that im getting wiser and all. i guess im just finally coming to my senses.

i get breathless. i dont know what to say. im nervous. im scared. im afraid to be myself. i watch what i say. i watch waht i do. i try to be someone im not.
way outta my league

and i came here to make you dance tonight
i don't care about my guilty pleasure for you
and i don't even know
what kinda fool you're taking me for

So don't let anyone scare you
You know that I'll protect you
Always,
now through the thick and thin
Until the end
You better watch it
You know you don't cross it because
I'm always here for you

"Life's troubles and dissapointments are harder to swallow when you don't know any vulgarities."

the weekend passed by quite fast. faster than usual. maybe its cause it was packed and i didnt really have time to just sit back and chill. but its alright. i really dont mind. busy weekends usually mean fun weekends spent with friends and family! so i guess all thats left now are the memories of the great weekend and then looking forward to the next, hoping it will be just as great!

today i met my bestfriend who i havent hung out with for about a month. today i met my little sis who i havent met in about a month. today i met my emo anorexic rock and roll princess who i havent seen in about 8 months. today i met my favourite set of twins who i havent seen in half a year. so all in all, today was a not bad day. i got to spend time with people who mean the world to me. got to catch up with people who i havent seen in months and months. so im glad for today. cause today was the first good day that ive had in a long long time and i more or less enojyed the whole of today except for a few things here and there. woke up at 5am cause char-maine couldnt sleep and we talked for an hour before deciding to meet earlier for breakfast. johan came along and they got their nails done. met katerina and clarisse for lunch at fareast before we wlaked around to wisma. had drinks with kristi and kathi and jus hung out before we headed down to the airport to send priss off. then i had dinner with sweta and chang. so yes. basically i spent my day with a few of my favourite people in the world although there are a few i havent spent enough time with and hopefully i get that oppurtunity to. but yes. today was a good day. the first one in a long time. i say keep them coming.

the thing about thinking too highly of someone is that youre then usually let down by your high expectations. maybe thats why i have a tendency to think the worse of people so that they'd impress me and not find a way to let me down and disapoint me

i don't care about my guilty pleasure for you.

if only every week passed by as quickly as this week then life would be all that much better. but sadly, it was a once in awhile thing. i do have a pretty good looking weekend coming up. i knwo i go on and on about having too high hopes and shit but i cant help it. gonna meet people this weekend and catch up. it'll be fun. probably.

i'd swim the ocean to see that smile which lifts me no matter what.

i feel like a retard sometimes. asking you questions that you never answer. asking you questions that you just avoid. ironic how you say so much things and yet im always right here for you but it doesnt really matter to you. maybe im not the friend you're looking for. maybe not a good friend in your eyes. but at least i ask. at least i care. at least i try. so maybe you dont think im a good friend or a trustworthy friend. but at least im trying to be your friend. but keep on going like this and i dont wanna try anymore

Marcus Eng

10 March 1990
19
ACS International
Ice Hockey

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