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i dont know why i feel this way. i dont want to but sometimes we cant control how we feel. i just dont like whats happening. and im at a lost cause i dont know what to do. i feel like everythings changing too fast. and honestly, sometimes i feel like i dont even know you. its like you're a whole different person and i dont know how to handle it. and i know im in no position to do or even say anything but im scared. and i wished i didnt care but how can i not? it just affects me and i hate this. fuck i really cannot stand this

my true love gave to me,

5 golden rings.

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a relatively good day today after a string of boring useless somewhat depressing days. went out with my favourite eng cousin and my brother today. ate at ion and walked all around town and cause we couldnt decide on a movie, we decided to go to tampines. a seemingly useless day but i managed to get presents for my MIA bestfriend and some stupid gift exchange shit in camp. still have some christmas shopping to do. hmmm. anyone free this new years?!? but good day la. MY FAMILY MY LIFE NAT!! :D

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so im a happy boy now. and i dont know why that shouldve made me happy but it did. damn it. sighh

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like a lost sheep now.

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so its so much easier to be negative than positive. but doesnt mean we let negativity win

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you dont know how happy that made me

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and i waited. like a fool on christmas

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la tua cantante

they say tattoos are addictive

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i just keep waiting and waiting. i feel like a retard. im just a fool

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happy christmas eve

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i miss

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i was reading through my msn history looking for something in particular and stumbled onto something. and then after reading that i realised how much i wished i could have a time machine. i wish i could go back in time and fix things. i dont know why but it suddenly dawned on me how badly things trned out and how i couldve so easily fixed them but i dont know why, but i didnt and things turned out like this. and i wish i could just apologise to you casue now i see why our friendship just sorta ended. and i realised it was my fault. ive been blaming you and other things, everything but myself for the longest time but now i finally get it. i was at fault too. i guess i was mostly at fault. and i dont know why, i was so damn blind. but now i see it. i see how i coudlve changfed things, made things worked. but its too late i guess. we're practically almost strangers. things happen for a reason. thats what they say. i dont really believe that but i guess now i finally realise it. i was wrong. id ask for your forgiveness but we don talk. but if you ever read this and if you ever figure out im refering to you, then yeah, im so sorry. i wish i could turn back time and worked things out. i wish we were still close the way we used to be. but you'll never realise this is for you. i wish.

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sometimes we wished we could go back in time and change the things we did. we always say that we'd do things differently so things would change for the better. but how do we know that our different actions would cause a beter outcome? maybe we made things worse? how do even know we'd do things differently. i mena there must be a reason why we did something in a certain way, and im pretty sure the reason is still legit. would we change things if we could? would we go back in time to alter our lives?

12 more days to 2010! YES FINALLY! CANT WAIT!

so another weekend has passed. and today is December 6th. 25 more days till 2010! YESSS!! FINALLY DECEMBER! finally end of a long torturous year that anything but fun and easy. its probably the longest and most painful year ive had to endure all my life. sigh. sad sad. and looks like 2010 aint gonna be all that great. so anyhow, had the acs int alumni reunion cum dr barretts farewell dinner thingy on friday. it was really good cause i managed to see people i havent seen in such a long time, at least a year plus. people like daryl uwei and all. oh and i saw my BB and PAL! cant wait to properly meet them and catch up! so anyhow, friday was a good day i suppose. watched zombieland with army. and then met up with char-maine to hang out and walk around. i really wanna see this christmas tree of yours bro! then macdonalds and poker till late with the guys. i think i wanna play poker more often! then joshua woon and jonho came over last night to watch soccer and play ps3. it was a pretty good weekend i guess. but unfortunately, a lot of time wasted on afternoon naps! pfft.

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so anyway, FREJA BEHA IS DAMN F**KING HOT! SHES GORGEOUS! AND WAHTS MORE, SHE HAS THE SEXIEST TATTOOS EVER! OMG! SHE'S MY TATTOO INSPIRATION! OMG SHES SOOOO HOT!

look how hot she is!

"float" quite cool but i dont think id wanna get one on my neck!

"serendipity is me" on the back of her arm. this one is really damn cool. and i think i wouldnt mind getting a phrase there

"this too shall pass" on her inner bicep. damn nice also!

"the world tonight is mine" wrapped around her wrist. this one is my second favourite but if i did get one on my wrist, id get a single word

and this is my all time favourite tattoo! "redemption" on her upper forearm. i really wanna get this. but maybe replace "redemption" with "faith". but yes. this ones damn nice. and i really am gonna get one at this location. hmmm next year i think? anyone willing to follow?