Friday, August 27, 2010 @ 7:09 PM
i am slowly but surely losing it. i am gonna go crazy soon if this goes on. i was on the brink of exhaustion after doing my graveyard shift and i gotta do another graveyard shift in 2 hours time. i think by 9am tomorrow, i will go nuts. but come on, 2-3 more days! i can do it! i can last without collapsing!
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i honestly find no pride and joy in helping out with this YOG. i guess its cause im one of those volunteered people. yes volunteered with the "ed". i dont have the pride and sense of accomplishement. maybe cuase ive been doing this for the past 17 months and im so sick and tired of it. i really dont get anything out of doing all this. a medal? nope. a prize? nope. a thank you? nope. no sense of gratitude at all. no one really appreciates the work ive done for the past 17 months. i earn about a $1.60 an hour. wow great pay huh. no overtime pay. no bonus. i havent had a free day in over a month. im losing track of the days cause honestly all the days feel like the same. saturdays sundays dont really matter if im stuck on shift. oh wells. at least its finally finally ending
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 @ 3:10 AM
technically its not even day 1 of YOG and it feels like im schooling at ntu because im there every single damn day for frikking long hours and im getting so damn sick of ntu and because of this event, there are so many rules and regulations that it is causing me to just simply go crazy. come on come on, august 28 please come faster! and then after that its off to phuket. seriously cant wait to go to phuket. not just cause of the opportunity to get away from everything but also because its been a real long time since i spent time with some of my friends. speaking of friends, its been exactly a month since my best friend went over to sydney and i must say i miss her quite terribly.
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is it better to just give up or try and then fail and get hurt all over again
Tuesday, August 03, 2010 @ 11:38 AM
its already august. YOG is about to start and i cant fucking wait. i cant wait for it to end. 25 more days and its all over. so now im just enduring and slwoly wiating.
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the past few weeks have been a blur and i must say that they have passed by quickly and they have offered me a lot of insight into different things. you cannot possibly begin to fathom how excited i am to go over to australia in feb. im all ready to start afresh, gain new experiences, meet new friends, and start a second lease of life. forget the past and embrace the new. damn i cant wait. i realised there's nth left in singapore for me anymore. i wanna leave this place fast and not look back. i used to really wish that i could somehow stay in spore to study in NUS or SMU and now im glad that i made the decision to go overseas. Australia aint that far overseas but its far enough. February seems a long way away but im just hoping the 6 motnhs just rush past and i'll be standing in sydney before i know it.
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a certain event made me realise that sometimes our friends are really friends at all but merely acquaintances who we think too highly of and think that theyre our friends. and we only find out theyre not truly our friends through certain events or things they do or say. same could be said abt people who we think are good close friends who turn out to be merely friends and good close friends seem too strong a description to use on people who are never there for us when we need them.
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i blame YOG for making me so depressed and bitter about things that even the smallest of probably nonsensical things can make you excited and happy. and thus im left disapointed and sad and i probably looked like a fool in the process
