theres this thing about me, i dont know if youd call it a bad habit or part of my personality or what. i dont know what to call it. but theres this thing about me where i really hate being kept in suspense and i really really must know the outcome of something if i can. like bad outcome is better than no outcome. that kinda thing. like even the simple thing of reading weekly bleach manga. like many times there are cliffhangers, and like, i cant even wait till friday to read what happened, like i must go read the spoilers on thursday. weird i know.
almost exactly a year ago i wrote this on my blog, "
so anyways. 80% done with my exams!! SWEETNESS! Today was a really good day! marcuseng is happy happy boy today!! cause of many different things!!! (: (: (: math tomorrow and then its finally PARTYYYY!! until results come out at least. then its DOOMSDAY"
note to self, dont write such cryptic posts where i wont be able to remember what i was so happy about a year ago. gosh it honestly just felt like yesterday, end of year exams for year 5s. hmmm. but i honestly cant wait for the oppurtunity to say "YESS!! 80% of my papers are done!" sooon soon. less than a month and ill be soooo free.
the past few days have been real fun. study break. but then again, im in school literally everyday from 7 45am to about 4pm which is like a normal school day. studying in the canteen or the library with BADMINTON breaks, adventures to Al Ameen, SCRATCH AND WIN CARDS, search for LAN and many other things scattered in between. been hanging out with a bunch of people who differ everday, char-maine andrew glen johan jon elvina johnny kui mich joshua woon, the pimp whale and that pizzaboi and i guess many other people too. but its fun. even though exams are coming so fast, ive been enojying these last 2 weeks.
sometimes in life we do really foolish strange things where other people would tell you that thats a really stupid thing to do and advise you not to do it. we then try to justify our actions and give reasons and excuses for what we're doing. it hurts when your friends start shooting holes in your reasoning syaing that you your reasons are flawed and screwed up. it also hurts when yourre having second thoughts about doing this foolish thing in the build up to it. you then make this split second decision and decide to do it, and in that split ssecond, its like everything could just change wiuth that one foolish thing you did. it hurts even more after doing it, left with no outcome, not knowing what to do, left wondering what the heck you were thinking, you start to see why your friends said it was stupid and you shouldnt do it and youre starting to have regrets. it hurts the most when after youve done it, youre left trying to convince yourself that what you did was right and you have no regrets whatsoever and that your reasonings were justifialbe and so youre stranded trying to convince yourself that you did it and no regrets. and oh how its the worse when you start to realise that you cant even convince yourself all these things.i just had this sudden strange longing to talk to my BB and PAL cause i really miss them so much! omgg ong squared!!! even though we dont talk as much, you know i miss you two soooooo damn much and i really want to talk to you guys!! haha!!! and if you see this, know that im missing you two and you guys are my favourite twins ever! :D
